SEOUL – Ms Kim Seul-ki, a 39-year-old South Korean woman, has publicly declared her commitment to herself by marrying herself in a solo wedding ceremony.

“Now that everyone knows I’ve declared sologamy, questions about my marital status just naturally dissipated. It’s very satisfying, and I can’t think of any negative sides to it,” the manager at Lush Korea said, recalling her marriage to herself in 2022.

When a person marries themselves, the marriage is referred to as a sologamy or an autogamy.

“It made me feel like my perspective on life and my values could be accepted as they are,” she added.

Ms Kim was among six employees at the Britain-based cosmetic retailer’s South Korean unit that received the company’s sologamy benefits in 2022.

The benefits included a special cash bonus of 500,000 won (S$505) and a 10-day vacation for a solo honeymoon, mirroring the perks offered to those entering into matrimony.

While marriage rates continue to fall in South Korea, the number of individuals committing to themselves through sologamy ceremonies is on the rise, although no official data is available.

Those who hold solo weddings do not just celebrate their decision to self-marry. Often, they do so to resist the pressures of a marriage-centric culture, where societal benefits go mainly to married couples.

Recouping cash gifts

Self-love is the main spirit of sologamy weddings, but Korea’s deep-rooted cash gift culture around weddings is an undeniable catalyst behind the practice.

Traditional Korean culture involves wishing newly-wed couples happiness through gifts of cash. The amount given ranges anywhere from 50,000 won to millions of won.

While these gifts are given with good intentions, there is an unspoken expectation that a reciprocal gesture will be made when the giver gets married.

This system worked smoothly in the past when South Korea’s marriage rates were high, but problems have surfaced as marriage rates have dipped to record lows over the last few years.

Sologamy weddings are typically seen as a way for single people to recoup the money they previously spent at the weddings of acquaintances, said South Korean TV personality and YouTuber Jaejae, whose real name is Lee Eun-jae and who has held a sologamy wedding herself.

Professor Suh Yi-jong, a sociology professor at Seoul National University, said that “in the past, a cash gift culture was adopted for mutual benefits within society”.

But, with the surge in the number of single or unmarried households and rising inflation, more people are starting to believe that the tradition no longer carries the same mutual benefits, he added.

Sologamy ceremonies are heavily tied to South Korea’s declining marriage rates and the growing perception among those in their 20s and 30s that marriage is no longer “mandatory”, according to Prof Suh.

A Statistics Korea survey released in 2022 involving 36,000 Korean nationals showed that 36.4 per cent of respondents aged 19 to 34 had a “positive perception” of marriage as at the end of 2022, a drop of 20.1 percentage points from 2012’s 56.5 per cent.

Marriage rates in South Korea saw yet another record low in 2022, separate data from Statistics Korea released earlier in 2023 showed.

Around 192,000 couples tied the knot in Asia’s fourth-largest economy in 2022, slipping by 0.4 percentage point from the previous year.

The figure is the lowest since 1970, when the statistical agency began compiling related data, representing the 11th straight year of decline.

Still an uncommon phenomenon

Lush Korea introduced sologamy benefits in June 2017 to ensure that all employees, including those who choose not to marry, are included in the company’s welfare and benefits programme.

“It represents the company’s culture of upholding diversity and inclusivity. Everyone’s lifestyle is respected,” said company spokesperson Jeon Ha-na.

In recent years, more South Korean companies have followed suit.

In September 2022, Lotte Department Store started providing the same cash and holiday benefits for unmarried employees aged 40 or older as employees who are tying the knot.

LG Uplus adopted the same measure in January 2023, with the minimum age set at 38.

“Twenty-five employees signed up for sologamy benefits within three months of us adopting the programme,” a Lotte Department Store spokesperson said. “It’s getting very popular among employees in their 40s and 50s who have no desire to get married.”

Outside these companies, however, solo weddings remain uncommon.

Special Day 2014, an event planning firm, said it has yet to receive any request to help plan a sologamy wedding, despite having launched a package in early 2022.

The firm appears at the top of search results on Korea’s largest web portal Naver for “sologamy wedding”.

“We have been promoting sologamy weddings since early last year, but we have yet to receive any requests,” the firm’s spokesperson said via phone.

“We get an average (of) 50 requests per month to help plan wedding events.”

Lush Korea’s Ms Kim shared that while she is satisfied with her self-marriage ceremony, she has received mixed reactions from friends and family.

“Some said they respected and even envied my decision, while others said that it was ‘too early’ for me to make such a commitment,” she added. “But in the end, it’s all about finding happiness as an individual, I think.” THE KOREA HERALD/ASIA NEWS NETWORK