A vast majority of young people in Singapore do not think that it is necessary to marry and have children, but most still aspire to do so. The apparent gulf between aspiration and belief is explained in a new survey conducted by the Institute of Policy Studies (IPS). It found that the young are held back by practical concerns such as wanting to advance their careers first and building a comfortable life, as well as the cost and stress of raising children. Interestingly, the survey also found that, while cost of living tops the list of social issues about which Singaporeans are most concerned, the young are reporting higher levels of loneliness. Loneliness would explain at least partially the desire to get married, but that aspiration gets placed in sobering perspective by material concerns and achievement goals. That is entirely understandable.

The IPS survey reiterates trends that are evident elsewhere as well. An American academic, for example, described her country’s attitudes this way in July 2023. Americans are “very much the marrying kind”, and most young adults display high levels of support for the institution of marriage. However, whereas marriage was once considered to be a rite of passage, and the failure to undertake it was seen as a personal failure, the social bar for marriage has been ratcheted up now to the point where matrimony is viewed as a “capstone experience” – something that people look forward to after they have achieved accomplishments such as completing their education, obtaining a good job, paying off or reducing their debt and being ready to buy a house. Consequently, marriage is being delayed, but it is not being dismissed as an option.