Singaporeans with spouses who have family ties in Ukraine doing all they can to help

Singaporeans Lim Shengen and Sheena Gow pictured with their spouses and children. PHOTOS: LIM SHENGEN, SHEENA GOW

SINGAPORE - After he finished work last week, Singaporean Lim Shengen was picking up food from McDonald's for his Ukrainian wife who was at home in Woodlands when she called him, sobbing.

Amid the crying, Mr Lim was able to make out that she had just seen a video circulating on the Internet of a missile striking an apartment building in Kyiv, about 900m from where her mother and grandmother live.

Recounting the Feb 27 incident to The Straits Times, Mr Lim, 40, said: "It was a horrible and scary situation. She sent me the video of the building hit, via WhatsApp - I have been there before and it looked familiar.

"So, I rushed back home and found her still sobbing. She had spoken to her family who said they were okay, and I comforted her by reminding her they were safe."

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Mr Lim, who is an artist, met his wife Karyna Mordynska at a language school they attended while they were both pursuing a master's degree in South Korea. They got married in 2020 and have a three-month-old baby daughter.

Since Russia's invasion of Ukraine on Feb 24, Ms Mordynska, 30, has been very worried about her family in Ukraine. Her mother, 49, is caring for her grandmother, who is in her 80s and struggles to move around.

Ms Mordynska, who is currently not working, has been following the news in her home country closely, and Mr Lim has been helping her fact-check the news by cross-referencing different sources.

He added: "I try to make sure her mind does not wander too much, and try to use logic to calm her down. Though I have to go to the office to work on some days, I'm ready to run home any time to be with her."

Singaporean Rahul Singh has been giving his full support to his Ukrainian-born wife of 10 years, Ms Galyna Kogut, a research fellow at the National Institute of Education, since the war broke out.

Ms Kogut, a Singapore citizen, is deeply worried about her parents, brothers and cousins in Kyiv. She is also helping other Ukrainians in her role as president of the Ukrainian Society in Singapore.

Mr Singh, a finance professional and author, said he has been helping organise the messages to his wife from people here with relatives in Ukraine on how they can help their loved ones.

He has also taken on more of the housework and the responsibility of helping their son in Primary 3 with his schoolwork.

Mr Singh added that while his wife is calm and composed in public when she is talking to the media and consoling others, she needs support too.

He said: "There is a side which only I'm aware of... like how many times in a day she breaks down."

Ukrainian-born Galyna Kogut with her husband, Singaporean Rahul Singh, and their son. PHOTO: COURTESY OF GALYNA KOGUT

Ms Marta Gambaryan, a Ukrainian marketing manager living in Singapore, said she has been unable to sleep well since the invasion, often waking up in the middle of the night to check for updates.

The Singapore permanent resident, 35, and an only child, has been in daily contact with her parents and grandmother who live together in the city of Khmelnytskyi in the west of Ukraine.

"Part of me still wishes that it is all just a nightmare... I am particularly worried about my elderly grandmother," she said.

She added that she is full of fears about her father, who has signed on to take up arms to defend the city.

Ms Gambaryan said she is grateful for the support from her Singaporean husband Desmond Yeo, 41, a business owner. He was on an overseas posting in Kyiv in his previous job when he met her in 2013. They got married in Singapore in 2017.

Since Russia's invasion, Ms Gambaryan has been helping out with the Ukrainian community here and Mr Yeo has been by her side, driving her around and doing all he can to help.

He said that he has been unable to help with words of encouragement, though.

"If I want to say that everything will be fine, it is really fake," he said.

It is a sentiment shared by Singaporean Sheena Gow, 34, who has been married to her husband, Ukrainian Igor Ivanov, 33, for four years.

She said: "It's hard to understand and support emotionally. Our culture and traditions are so different. I've also got to let him take the time to process his feelings and emotions.

"I've decided not to ask so many questions and to wait for him to share. In the meantime, I use social media to spread awareness (about the war)."

Singaporean Sheena Gow with her husband, Ukrainian Igor Ivanov, and their daughters. PHOTO: COURTESY OF SHEENA GOW

Mr Ivanov, a financial analyst, is concerned about the safety of his 62-year-old father, who lives in the Ukrainian city of Novohrad-Volyns'kyi, and friends across the country. They remain safe for now and he speaks to them daily.

The couple, who have a three-month-old daughter and another who is aged three, have spoken about going to Ukraine when the war ends.

Ms Gow, who is a nurse, said: "We know the war will end. When it will end and what state the country will be in, no one knows. There will come a day when the rebuilding will need to happen.

"There will be so many things that needs to be done - infrastructure, housing, healthcare, education... when that day comes and they need people to return to rebuild the economy, we are considering doing that."

Follow The Straits Times' live coverage on the Ukraine crisis here.

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