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She grew up in a rental flat. Now she's giving back as a volunteer befriender
Once a month, she visits a lower-income family to provide support and guidance to help improve their financial plight
Once a month, DBS befriender Adalia Tan engages the kids from her assigned ComLink+ family on simple financial literacy concepts, such as the importance of saving money.
PHOTO: THARM SOOK WAI
Kareyst Lin, Content STudio
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While her peers were busy mugging for the A-level examinations, Ms Adalia Tan was frantic with worry about money – to pay for her exam.
“(My family) couldn’t afford the exam fees,” she says, which amounted to a few hundred dollars then.
This was before 2015 when fees for all national exams, including the A levels, in Government-funded schools were waived for all Singaporean students.
Ms Tan, now 38, grew up in a two-room rental flat in Lengkok Bahru. Her parents separated when she was a toddler. Ms Tan lived with her father, who worked odd jobs at hawker stalls to make ends meet.
“We had no savings,” she says. Her father, who died in 2012, “didn’t earn much” despite working long hours. Ms Tan was on financial aid when she was schooling.
Desperate, Ms Tan mustered the courage to ask a relative for help in paying the exam fees. But she was rejected. “I felt so embarrassed.”
Just when things seemed bleak, a distant relative offered to sponsor the fees. “I’m ever thankful to her,” says Ms Tan, who went on to graduate with a communications degree from the National University of Singapore.
Now married with no kids, Ms Tan still stays in Lengkok Bahru. But now, she owns a four-room Housing Board (HDB) flat which is “incidentally, just opposite the rental flat I used to live in with my father”.
Today, she is the vice-president of DBS People of Purpose, the bank’s employee volunteerism movement. Her role: To plan and execute volunteering initiatives for the 14,000 DBS employees in Singapore.
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In 2023, DBS Singapore contributed over 74,000 volunteering hours. Each DBS employee is entitled to two days of volunteering leave per year. They can easily sign up for volunteering initiatives via an internal digital platform.
Ms Tan decided to use hers to contribute to a cause close to her heart: Helping those with less.
Last December, she signed up to be one of the first 400 DBS employee volunteers to be trained as befrienders for 200 lower-income families supported by the national ComLink+ scheme. The scheme aims to reduce income inequality and boost social mobility.
The pilot befriending programme is part of a multi-pronged partnership between DBS Foundation and the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF).
Befrienders like Ms Tan work alongside MSF family coaches to engage the lower-income families through monthly visits, providing emotional support and helping families stay on top of their financial goals.
Walk down memory lane
The first visit to the home of her assigned ComLink+ family in March was an emotional moment for Ms Tan.
It was the first time in eight years that she stepped into a rental flat, and “it brought back memories”, she says.
Ms Tan’s assigned family is a three-generational family of five staying in a two-room rental flat.
The main caregiver for the two girls aged four and nine is their paternal grandmother Ms Claudette Marie Silvester, 57. The girls’ parents work long hours, sometimes without rest days. Their father, 35, works as a bartender while their mother, 37, is a beauty adviser at a retail store.
Once a month, Ms Tan and MSF family coach Devanai Kovalagan visits their home in Boon Lay.
During these sessions, Ms Tan goes through simple financial concepts with the kids, such as identifying wants versus needs, and the importance of saving money. “Meanwhile, (Ms Devanai) engages the adults to understand their challenges and if there are other areas (such as the kids’ tuition, or art classes) where we can help.”
In the little girls, Ms Tan saw herself. She recalls once giving the older girl a book on animals.
“She took it and immediately started reading! It was a very heartwarming sight and (reminded me) of myself; I was a little bookworm growing up too.”
The gift of giving
Ms Tan is no stranger to volunteering.
In university, she juggled schoolwork, part-time jobs, and a regular volunteering schedule. “I wasn’t able to contribute in terms of money, but I could give my time and skills,” Ms Tan says.
She was still living in the rental flat with her father back then. “When I went to clean the homes of the elderly in Toa Payoh, my dad joked that I don’t even tidy my own flat, yet I’m cleaning other people’s (houses).”
Today, through the befriending programme, Ms Tan continues to uplift those in need. After getting to know her assigned family more deeply over the last few months, Ms Tan also reflects on her own journey.
The family shared that they aspire to buy a three-room HDB flat in a few years. It is what Ms Tan and her father wished for back in the day too.
“The parents work hard to provide for their girls, just like how my dad tried his best to ensure I could finish my studies even though we didn’t have much,” she says.
Ms Tan knows first-hand how education can open doors to a better future for the younger generation.
She was “very excited” when, last year, DBS pledged to commit $30 million over three years to fund two ComLink+ packages to address the concerns of lower-income families.
The two initiatives are aimed at helping these families to work towards better financial circumstances in the long-term. They focus on home ownership and early childhood education – “two causes (that are) particularly meaningful to me”, Ms Tan says.
Creating a safe space
One evening, a befriending session descended into a kerfuffle when a neighbour’s cat strolled into the small flat.
Turns out, family coach Ms Devanai Kovalagan was afraid of felines. But the young girls of the assigned family – ages four and nine – were her protectors.
“They saw that (I was) scared, and quickly stood between me and the cat!” says Ms Devanai, manager of ComLink and Regional Services, Ministry of Social and Family Development.
Together with DBS befriender Adalia Tan, Ms Devanai was conducting her monthly visit to their assigned ComLink+ family.
During these one-hour sessions, they engage the family to understand their challenges, provide emotional support and guide them towards achieving their goal of purchasing their own Housing Board flat.
Four sessions in, the girls now look up to Ms Tan and Ms Devanai as “big sisters” and would cheerfully welcome them into their home.
But this was not the case from the start, says Ms Tan. In fact, the first two sessions were “a little awkward”.
What changed? The trust built, says Ms Devanai.
“We spend time to really understand and be sensitive to the challenges they are facing, then set goals that are (achievable) for them.”
The girls’ grandmother, Ms Claudette Marie Silvester, also shares that she feels at ease with the DBS volunteers and MSF family coaches.
Despite the circumstances, “I feel like I found friends (in Ms Tan and Ms Devanai), and I know I can rely on them”, says the kids’ main caregiver.
It took a while for Ms Claudette Marie, 57, to open up too. But on the fourth visit, she generously recounted her personal experiences – from fun anecdotes about clubbing in her younger days, to raising kids as a single mother, and how she lost her job due to her health.
“The kids usually keep to themselves, so it’s rare that they warm up to (Ms Tan and Ms Devanai) this way,” Ms Claudette Marie adds.
Keen to be a volunteer?
The Ministry of Social and Family Development has designated 2024 as the Year of Celebrating Volunteers, highlighting the role that individuals play – by contributing their time, talent and resources – in building a caring and inclusive society.
Discover opportunities at the Volunteer Fest, held from 10am to 8pm at:
- July 20 to 21: Kampung Admiralty
- July 27 to 28: Lot One Shoppers’ Mall
Visitors can look forward to sharing sessions by volunteers, interactive installations, and experiential stations where they can better understand the social service sector.
Admission is free. Visit celebratingvolunteers.sg to learn more.
In partnership with the Ministry of Social and Family Development, in support of the Year of Celebrating Volunteers
