How a coach helped her deal with the emotional toll of fertility treatments

SINGAPORE – Madam Rina Lee, 41, faced numerous health challenges after giving birth to her first child in 2019, which complicated her attempts to conceive again. 

In 2021, the recruit head for a human resources firm began in-vitro fertilisation (IVF). But after two unsuccessful cycles, she and her husband decided that the third would be their last.

Determined to approach this last round of IVF differently, Madam Lee sought the help of a fertility coach.

“Because every time when I was about to start a new cycle, I could feel myself going into this deep, dark hole, like not being able to really cope at work, at home, and just being super stressed,” she recalls. 

Her company’s career coaching had shown her the benefits of mindset tools, which she believed could also aid her personal life.

She found fertility coach Tina Padia through peer support group Fertility Support Singapore, and invested in nine coaching sessions for around $2,600.

These sessions introduced her to techniques like meditation, sound baths and neurolinguistic tools.

Despite some scepticism from friends, who questioned the need for a paid coach, Madam Lee saw the value in professional guidance.

Friends, though well-intentioned, often passed judgment unintentionally, she says, whereas a coach provided objective support. Furthermore, Mrs Padia had undergone IVF herself, and understood the specific challenges she faced.

Madam Lee says the coaching helped her reframe her mindset and focus on positive outcomes rather than potential failure. Even after becoming pregnant in September 2023, she continued with the coaching sessions to manage her anxiety in the early months.

“I’ve had multiple miscarriages before, so every doctor’s visit, I was highly anxious. So I continued seeing her for another three months, just to make sure I was supported throughout my first trimester,” she says. 

For her, it was crucial that the coach was certified by a reputable body, ensuring professionalism and expertise – “compared with those who just go online and do a course”.

“(Trained) coaches are really professional... The effort and years and hours clocked, I think, make a big difference.”