Man’s sister wins tussle against his ex-wife to be his sole deputy after he suffers stroke

SINGAPORE – When a 48-year-old man suffered a stroke and lost his mental capacity, his former wife and elder sister fought to be appointed as his sole deputy.

After a legal tussle lasting almost two years, the Family Court granted his sister’s application in June, noting that she had shown consistency in care and concern for him.

In a judgment made available on Nov 14, District Judge Jason Gabriel Chiang explained his decision, against which the former wife had appealed.

Court documents described the man as a Singaporean businessman involved in automobile care and works. He is now about 50 years old.

His sister and only sibling is five years older than him; his former wife is a 42-year-old maths tutor.

The couple, who divorced in 2018, have two sons aged 15 and 13. The woman had a third son with another man before the divorce was finalised.

They had split as the man had alleged they had many disagreements and quarrels, and suggested that she had had an extramarital affair.

Despite their separation, the two had a cordial relationship and frequently communicated regarding their sons.

But there was animosity between the man’s sister and former wife – the two of them had stopped talking to each other from 2016.

In March 2023, the man suffered a sudden left-sided haemorrhagic stroke and was admitted to hospital. Since October that year, he has been living at All Saints Home in Jurong East.

A doctor certified that the man lacked the ability to make decisions on his personal welfare, property and affairs due to the stroke.

The man’s former wife and sister applied to be his sole deputy in June and August 2023 respectively.

His former wife hoped he could move to her rented residence so she and her domestic helper could care for him.

She also wanted the man’s condominium apartment to be preserved for their two sons and for it to be rented out to generate income.

Her financial support in paying for the man’s car and mortgage instalments and insurance premiums showed she was being selfless in caring for him, said the former wife.

Conversely, the man’s sister wanted him to remain at the nursing home and sought to sell the condominium apartment if necessary, to meet his needs.

The sister argued that she had been managing his affairs since the stroke, and that the courts should exercise caution in appointing a deputy in the case of a recent divorce.

Revealed secrets

There were no records of the man’s will or lasting power of attorney; hence there was no strong evidence regarding his wishes on who would be best to manage his affairs.

Judge Chiang considered the former wife and sister’s behaviour to determine if they could handle the responsibility of being his deputy.

He noted that the former wife had kept the existence of her third son a secret from the court. It was revealed only when the man’s sister raised issues related to the boy.

The fact that his former wife also had to care for the boy was a significant factor for determining whether she was able to fully care for the man at her residence, said Judge Chiang.

The former wife also concealed that she was in possession of the man’s car, until his sister engaged a private investigator and discovered that she had been using it fairly frequently.

When the court asked for more information about the car, it was revealed that she had sold his car back to the dealership without authorisation.

Similarly, without seeking a court order, the former wife transferred the man’s mobile phone line to herself and gave the phone to her eldest son.

Though the man’s sister had also acted without authorisation, such as changing the locks to the man’s condominium apartment for fear of his former wife accessing the property, the judge differentiated their behaviour.

“While (the man’s sister) duly disclosed such issues in her affidavits, (the man’s ex-wife) had a trend of denying, obfuscating and then coming clean only when she had been found out,” wrote Judge Chiang.

‘Sudden lack of interest’

Most pertinently, Judge Chiang noted that the man’s former wife suddenly stopped visiting him at the nursing home for about half a year after the last court affidavits were filed in November 2024.

She pointed to restrictions at the nursing home, the location being too far away, and wanting to avoid seeing the man’s sister, among other challenges in visiting him.

The former wife said she relied on the elderly wife of the man’s ward mate to provide updates on his condition. But Judge Chiang said that by not visiting, she could not render him comfort and assistance.

The judge said nursing home restrictions did not excuse the “sudden lack of interest” in the man’s care.

“If (the man’s) ex-wife was genuine in her care for (him), there would not have been such a significant absence of visits for a substantial period of time,” wrote Judge Chiang.

On the other hand, the man’s sister provided evidence of her visiting consistently on weekends, with records of her visits in March and April.

Judge Chiang ruled in the sister’s favour, but did not allow the man’s condominium apartment to be sold, as the rental income was sufficient for his needs.

In his concluding remarks, the judge said potential deputies need to exhibit their commitment to caring for the person who lacks mental capacity.

He added that if they are earnest in their bid to be appointed as deputies, they need to show that such care and concern should not wane over time.