The relentless, high-pressure world of elite swimming

SINGAPORE - With a combined 17 medals at the Olympics and world championships, American swimmers Nic Fink, Ryan Held, Lydia Jacoby and Regan Smith know what it takes to reach the elite level.

But no athlete is immune from setbacks, and all four have, at some points in their careers, contemplated walking away from the pool or experienced bouts of self-doubt.

The world of elite swimming is unforgiving. Ian Thorpe detailed his battle with depression in his 2012 autobiography, Michael Phelps was twice arrested for drink-driving before he underwent rehabilitation, while Caeleb Dressel pulled out of the 2022 world championships to prioritise his mental health.

“It’s just you and your thoughts, doing long sets and staring at a black line. It’s tough,” said Held, 28, on Saturday at the OCBC Aquatic Centre. The US team are in Singapore for a training stint before heading to the World Aquatics Championships in Fukuoka, Japan.

“It’s a very heartbreaking sport. You can do all these years of work and have one bad meet, and that’s the way it goes.”

Held, who won the 4x100m freestyle relay gold alongside Phelps and Dressel at the 2016 Rio Olympics, had a first-hand experience of the sport’s fine margins at the 2021 US Olympic trials in June. With 12 relay spots up for grabs, he finished No. 13 on the list.

A three-month grieving cycle of anger, sadness and denial followed. Held even considered retirement. But he eventually picked himself up and earned his spot at the 2021 world championships (short course) in December. He would claim six medals, including two golds, in Abu Dhabi.

“At that moment, I was like, yeah, I’m not done with swimming. I’m still one of the top dogs. I want to compete,” he said.

Like Held, Fink, the 50m breaststroke world champion in 2022, hit the lowest point of his career when he failed to qualify for the 2016 Rio Games, having already missed out on the 2012 London edition.

The 30-year-old said: “It was a terrible meet where I let the pressure of the moment get to me. That was my goal for the last four years, and it all unravelled.

“I definitely debated being done with the sport at that time but I spoke to a lot of my teammates and coaches. They told me that ultimately I like swimming.”

Fink again missed out on qualification in the 100m breaststroke for the delayed Tokyo Olympics in 2021 by a margin of 0.06 seconds.

He bounced back two days later to qualify for the 200m event. He finished fifth in Japan, missing out on a bronze medal by 0.8sec.

Crediting his mindset shift, Fink said: “You have to enjoy the grind, if not it’s a really hard sport to do. There is so much more to this than the Olympics.

“Now I’m way better mentally because I go into every meet thinking the outcome doesn’t matter the most.”

Held added: “You kind of just get accustomed to it, to kind of compartmentalise your feelings.

“Three days (before a race) I’m nervous, but there’s nothing I can do. So I put those nervous feelings aside and calm down.

“Maybe like two hours before the race like okay, yeah. I’m going to use this nervous energy to fire me up.”

Smith, 21, has won four world titles and acknowledged that the expectations can sometimes be suffocating.

She said: “It’s definitely easier said than done to avoid all the pressure. I try to understand that what matters is how we feel about ourselves.

“It’s very easy to overthink and lose sight of the race. Knowing (others’) performances have no effect on me and what I can do helps me stay in my own lane and execute things the best I can.”

Even Jacoby, 19, suffered from depression after her breakthrough 100m breaststroke gold in Tokyo, when she was 17. She said: “Post Olympics, I had a hard time being motivated in different parts of my life. I was comfortable doing nothing for hours which is very unlike me and those were the biggest signs of depression.

“I spent two months in 2022 travelling to Mexico with my best friend and spending time with my family, which is pretty rare for high performing athletes. Ultimately, it’s great to just enjoy the journey and process beyond the results.”

US women’s team coach Carol Capitani is well aware of the importance of mental health, saying: “It’s really important we provide a safe psychological environment and make sure that our athletes can communicate with us. The better the communication is, the healthier the relationship is.”

Ultimately, there is more to life beyond competitive swimming. A recent US team meeting with former six-time Olympic medallist Brendan Hansen brought things into perspective for Held.

“He told us, look, at the end of the day, it’s just swimming. Can you name who won the 200m breaststroke at the 2000 Olympics? No, because like, no one cares. Life goes on.”