How couples on the world’s pro squash tour motivate – and unsettle – each other

SINGAPORE – Belgian Nele Gilis is usually composed on the court, but the world No. 7 becomes a bundle of nerves whenever she watches her fiance and fellow squash professional Paul Coll’s matches.

“For my own matches, I’m pretty relaxed most of the time. But, when Paul plays, you want to see him happy, so you want him to win, so it makes me more nervous,” said the 27-year-old, who is in town for the US$225,000 (S$306,000) Singapore Squash Open at the OCBC Arena.

“There are all these advantages to having your partner (in the same sport). On the flip side, you have two people you’re focusing on... which can also be mentally draining at times, especially if they’re close matches.”

The same can be said for world No. 5 Coll, who tries to conceal the jitters he gets when he is supporting Gilis.

The 31-year-old New Zealander said: “I get pretty nervous when Nele is playing but I try not to show it because she’s looking at the back and I want to be calm so she’s not getting too nervous.

“But it’s great to watch her play – she’s improving and learning and it’s really nice to be there experiencing that journey with her.”

There could be some nerves for both players on Friday, when fifth seed Coll will meet fourth-seeded Egyptian Mostafa Asal in the quarter-finals, while third seed Gilis will take on Egypt’s sixth seed Rowan Elaraby.

While being a couple on the Professional Squash Association World Tour can sometimes be a tough balancing act, Gilis and Coll, who got engaged at the end of 2022, are glad to have each other on the circuit.

Egyptian power couple world No. 1 Ali Farag and sixth-ranked Nour El Tayeb, who won the 2017 US Open and Manchester Open 2023 singles titles together, feel the same way.

El Tayeb, 30, said: “Ali and I always talk about how we’re very lucky that we travel around the world together.

“Sport can become a lonely place sometimes – when you win, you’re alone, when you lose, you’re alone. So for us to have each other has made the tour bearable and enjoyable.”

Top seed El Tayeb crashed out in the second round on Thursday, following a shock 3-1 (11-6, 12-10, 8-11, 12-10) defeat by Malaysia’s Asian Games champion Sivasangari Subramaniam.

Farag, the men’s top seed, will meet seventh-seeded compatriot Youssef Souliman in Friday’s quarter-finals.

Not many others understand the stresses and rigours of elite sport, with Farag, 31, adding: “After I lose or Nour loses, we vent, and not necessarily in a very nice way.

“If I wasn’t an athlete, I wouldn’t have really appreciated it or understood it, but because I know exactly how it feels, we understand each other.”

But it is not always a bed of roses. Even though they both know how much losing hurts, they may not deal with defeat in the same manner.

Four-time world champion Farag said: “Sometimes your partner just wants to vent and she doesn’t want any answers but you keep giving them and that’s not what she wants. Even more so at the beginning, you grow with each other.

“At the beginning, I would instruct Nour in a bad or harsh way, but we grow with each other and that really makes the relationship more intimate and fun overall.”

Their joint pursuit of excellence also pushes them to keep improving. Between them, Farag and El Tayeb have 50 titles from Professional Squash Association tournaments.

The competitive spirit in squash’s top players is unmistakable – they want to win, but just like any other athlete, form can waver.

This is when having a partner in the same sport can help. Farag sees El Tayeb as an inspiration. Less than three months after giving birth to their daughter Farida in July 2021, the new mum was back in training.

Whenever he lacked the motivation to train, seeing how El Tayeb was forcing herself to go to the gym even if after only two hours of sleep the night before, inspired him.

Farag said: “That’s the beauty of being married to someone who is ambitious, not just in sport, and who always wants to be a better person and it helps you grow.”