Fancy a stay at Zurich's Baur au Lac hotel? You are "more likely to be arrested and flown to America than to reach the dessert course" at its restaurant, reads a scathing review by "Sepp Blatter" on travel website TripAdvisor.
It isn't the work of football world body Fifa's suspended president, of course, but a parody review that comes after two more top Fifa officials - Conmebol president Juan Angel Napout and Concacaf head Alfredo Hawit - were arrested at the hotel as part of a long-running corruption investigation.
The hotel was also the scene in May of the arrests of seven top football executives for corruption.
The luxury hotel, rated No. 1 in Zurich on TripAdvisor, is "brilliant" but the user SUSPENDEDSEP123 "found the security to be extremely heavy-handed".
"On a positive note, the sheets used to hide your face on the way to the police van are extremely high quality," he added.
The post has since been removed.
Blatter was suspended for 90 days in early October by Fifa's ethics committee. The committee is recommending a life ban for the 79-year-old, over an allegation that a payment in 2011 of £1.35 million (S$2.84 million) to former presidential hopeful Michel Platini, who has himself been suspended, was corrupt.