‘Because you made every child matter, I mattered’: Ex-runaway thanks Salvation Army on its anniversary

SINGAPORE - Joey’s life was full of hard knocks from the very beginning.

Her parents divorced when she was two, and she saw her mum attempt suicide. Her father, who had custody of her, was often away at work and seldom at home.

Her grandparents took care of her. After they died, Joey, then 15 years old, ran away from home.

She had depression and was self-harming by the time the court sent her to The Salvation Army’s Gracehaven home in Yio Chu Kang.

The routine at the home taught her to learn to live independently, and counselling from social workers helped her heal from her trauma. Staff and volunteers at the home also helped her to return to secondary school, and tutored her for her N-level exams.

“The social worker was the only resource that we had... She allowed me to be heard... and she became my voice,” Joey said, fighting back tears as she shared her story at the Red Shield luncheon held by The Salvation Army at Conrad Centennial Singapore on Friday to mark its 88th year.

“I was meaning to thank you (The Salvation Army) for your motto, where you said ‘Every Child Matters’. And because you said that, because you made every child matter, I mattered, and in turn, I can sit here sharing my story with all of you today,” she said, addressing about 265 donors, corporate partners and board members at the event.

On Friday, The Salvation Army also launched a new scheme, Philanthropic Circle of Care, to match donors with programmes they wish to support and which are in need of funds.

One of the first participants in the scheme is the UBS Optimus Foundation, which partnered with The Salvation Army on a $2.4 million programme to reunify vulnerable families.

Called the Befrienders For Families (BFF) programme, it supports families with children returning home from foster care or children’s homes. Volunteers can provide practical help such as buying groceries and a bed for the child, or journey with the family in mentoring children and helping their parents to search for jobs.

“Reunification after a period in residential or foster care can be a very sensitive period for the child and his family,” said Ms Audrie Siew, executive director of the Children and Youth Group at The Salvation Army.

“While professionals play a very important role in helping such families and children, families may find befrienders less intimidating and may find it more natural to share their day-to-day struggles with them,” added Ms Siew, who is a foster parent herself.

The Children and Youth Group cares for children who require safe shelter and therapeutic support due to abuse and neglect.

It serves more than 500 young people every year with case work and counselling, family bonding and other activities.

The group developed the BFF programme together with Home For Good, Singapore, a network of foster parents, adoptive parents and volunteers who help vulnerable children.

Foreign Minister Vivian Balakrishnan, who attended the luncheon, recalled how The Salvation Army started as a shelter for vulnerable women in 1935, and expanded over the years to open nurseries and homes for the aged.

He also spoke of the role it has played in creating “a society where everyone has a fair chance... and that sense of hope that every individual and every family needs”.

With the social workers’ help in court-ordered counselling sessions, Joey managed to reconcile with her father after 10 years.

Now 40, she is a sales representative at an educational technology company training people in child protection, and has a seven-year-old son.

“Because of this circumstance that I was in, I really hope that I will be able to bring to my child and let him experience that full unit of family love that I have never been able to experience,” she said.

Joey shared how she went back to Gracehaven to help a youngster who was leaving the home to reunite with her family.

She said: “Just by lending my ear to her and sharing my experience with her, hopefully she will know that even though life continues to be very challenging, there might be still hope.

“And some of us actually turned out to be okay.”