Would you bring a 5-year-old to volunteer? These parents share why they do it

When Mr Naveen Prakash’s daughter was born in December 2019, he felt joy and wonder as a first-time father.

But as the months passed, he struggled to connect with baby Rachel. Beyond helping with chores like changing diapers and heating milk, he wasn’t sure how else to be involved.

“I used to spend more time playing on my PlayStation 5,” admits Mr Naveen, now 35, an engineer at a semiconductor manufacturing company.

His wife Catharin Naveen, 34, a librarian at an international school, remembers those early days. “There was a time when Naveen was very sad and I asked him why,” she recalls.

He told her he didn’t know how to bond with Rachel, but she reminded him that their baby was still very young.

The shift came gradually, as Rachel grew older and Covid-19 restrictions eased. The family began spending more time outdoors, and Mr Naveen discovered something important: “I realised that I (can) bond with Rachel through taking her out.”

These days, the family’s weekends are packed with activity: rock climbing, swimming, museum visits – and even volunteering.

Making time to give back

Despite juggling work and raising a young child with no outside help, the couple says they make time to volunteer at least once a month each. They usually take turns doing so to ensure that one of them is always with Rachel, who is now five.

Last year, they brought her to volunteer at the National Family Festival (NFF), where Rachel helped to hand out flyers and tidy up the sand play booth at Singapore Expo.

The festival is organised by the Families for Life (FFL) Council and supported by the Ministry of Social and Family Development.

Rachel especially adores the mascot Becky Bunny, says Mrs Naveen, and handing out memorabilia at FFL events. Becky Bunny stickers now decorate various objects in their three-room Housing Board flat, including on the family hamster’s cage.

The Naveens began volunteering in 2016 through a community outreach group. The group, started by Mr Eric Yong in 2012, organises sessions at places including nursing homes, community hospitals and senior activity centres. They also volunteer at Willing Hearts, a non-profit organisation that provides food to those in need.

In 2021, the couple started helping out with food deliveries, joining other group members with cars to deliver meals, says Mr Naveen. Their Saturday mornings now often start at 8.30am, with each food delivery session lasting about four hours.

Mr Yong, who works in healthcare and is in his 60s, shares that the group has about 30 volunteers including the Naveens, and runs activities almost every weekend.

Long-term volunteers make a difference, especially when it comes to engaging the elderly, says Mr Yong. “They like to see familiar faces.”

These days, the family also uses the VolunteerSG website (volunteer.gov.sg) to find volunteering opportunities that welcome children.

Mr Naveen, who joined FFL as a volunteer in 2023, is also taking on a new role at this year’s NFF as a volunteer leader. As part of an over 50-strong team, he now helps to plan and manage the festival programmes at Singapore Expo and Kallang Wave Mall, including briefing and guiding other volunteers.

Those who are interested to be volunteer leaders can apply during FFL’s open recruitment drives. They typically undergo around 10 hours of training in areas such as facilitation and event management before taking on the role.

In a way, giving back feels familiar to the couple. “Naveen has seen his parents helping others whenever there’s a need. I’ve seen my dad and mum do that as well,” says Mrs Naveen, especially helping those in need. “My dad came from the same background, so he can really connect.

“I think somewhere in our minds, it got ingrained. If there’s a need and we have the capacity, why not spend a few hours just helping?” asks Mrs Naveen.

Making time to connect

Beyond volunteering, the couple prioritises making time for each other – both at home and on dates. Some outings are planned with their daughter in mind, like when they made a rug Rachel would like.

Others are just for the two of them, like visiting escape rooms (an immersive game where players solve puzzles to “leave” a themed room) and having meals out.

They take time off for dates when Rachel is at pre-school.

“We want to try to set an example, not just as parents but as a couple,” explains Mrs Naveen. They hug often and thank each other for the little things – gestures that she notices Rachel picking up on.

We want her to see what a loving, healthy relationship looks like, she adds. “We never saw that happening between our parents; they’re not very expressive.”

How they handle disagreements also matters. “It’s not a success all the time,” says Mrs Naveen. “She sees the side where we fail. Sometimes I might raise my voice, and she will come and tell us ‘Don’t squabble’.”

It’s these little things – how they make time for each other, to connect, and to give back – that they hope will shape the kind of person Rachel will grow to be.

The couple admits that they don’t expect Rachel to fully understand why they do what they do at this tender age.

“We know she mostly sees it as something fun right now,” says Mr Naveen. “She doesn’t really have a choice but to come with us” to volunteer, he laughs.

But they hope she’ll learn eventually, and carry these values with her as she grows.

“When she gets older, it would be nice if she chose to come with us once in a while instead of hanging out with her friends,” he says. “Hopefully she can influence them to come along too.”

Building a home

The couple’s approach to parenting is shaped by their own childhoods, and a desire to build a home where their five-year-old daughter Rachel can open up freely – something they experienced differently growing up.

Mrs Catharin Naveen doesn’t have siblings, and grew up in a strict household where she was closest to her mother. “My dad was the youngest of his family and had a lot of siblings to care for. He provided for us, but I had to think a lot before sharing anything with him,” she explains.

Much like what her mother did for her, she now makes it a point to connect with Rachel, no matter how tired she may be after work. “I found that she’s more likely to share about her day if I ask her about it on the way home from school,” she says.

“Sometimes she says ‘It was okay’ as if she’s a teenager already, but other times she tells me about how she handles conflict, for example with another student bothering her.

Some days prove harder than others. “Internally I’m like, I want to spend time with (my daughter) but my body is not cooperating. I don’t have any more energy left,” she admits.

“I sometimes feel guilty; I just want to slouch on the couch, put something on the TV and then just sit and watch it together (with my daughter and husband).”

Mr Naveen Prakash shares that he never really opened up at home, even with his brother who is five years younger.

“I grew up in a strict home and couldn’t really share my feelings with them,” he explains. “There was a strong focus on studying. I couldn’t even have my friends over or go to their houses because my parents were worried they’d be bad influences.”

As a father, he tries to do things differently, especially by spending more time with Rachel. On weekends, he plans activities for the family or plays video games with his daughter at home.

“Even if I’m tired at the end of the day, if I promise to take her out, I make sure I keep that promise. She’ll remember that as she gets older,” he says.

In partnership with Families for Life and the Ministry of Social and Family Development