Women activists cite importance of male allies in advancing gender equality
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(From left) United Women Singapore president Georgette Tan, Minister of State for Social and Family Development Sun Xueling, and member and former vice-chair of UN Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women Bandana Rana, at the summit on July 14.
ST PHOTO: ARIFFIN JAMAR
SINGAPORE - The importance of male allyship, breaking gender stereotypes at home, and shifting mindsets among boys were among some of the sentiments that women activists voiced in a conversation about gender equality.
The United Women Singapore Boys Empowered Community Summit, held on Friday at Our Tampines Hub, aimed to cultivate a community of male allies and foster wellness in boys.
It held workshops and discussions on healthy masculinity, gender stereotypes and respectful relationships.
“Must be tough and strong” and “Cannot cry” were some of the things the summit attendees, which included male students, wrote at a booth about stereotypical expectations of men that they have heard.
“When men take care of children, they are applauded. When women take care of children, it is expected,” wrote another attendee.
Speaking at the summit, Minister of State for Social and Family Development Sun Xueling said that many of these issues go beyond legislation, although it is an important first step.
Conversations on healthy relationships and gender should start at home, she added.
A child may see how his father treats his mother at home and may think it is the norm, not knowing his father’s behaviour may be abusive.
When children grow up, this may manifest in their own behaviour, which continues the cycle of violence, she said.
Ms Georgette Tan, president of United Women Singapore, told ST that one of the most prevalent roadblocks to advancing gender equality is shifting mindsets.
She said: “We need to ensure boys understand that just because they see dad hitting mum, or grandpa hitting grandma, does not mean it’s normal.”
“If we are able to shift their mindsets and move the dial even a little bit, that is when we’ll start to see progress, because that means the next generation has less to worry about.”
Speaking to ST, women’s rights activist and a member of the United Nations Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women, Ms Bandana Rana, said that breaking generational stereotypes about gender is a feat.
In her home country of Nepal, Ms Bandana said, the birth of a son is coveted, while a daughter is seen as a burden as she will be married off.
Many girls are aborted, she added.
“The discrimination against girls starts from the womb there. And as I grew up, I was told you are to be seen but not heard, you cannot laugh too loudly.”
Traditional stereotypes against boys brew toxic masculinity, she added.
“They are told they cannot cry, and are taught to be dominant in marriage and earn a good living. It’s a lot of pressure for them too. We need to change and decode harmful stereotypes.”
Ms Tan added that male allyship is crucial.
She said: “It’s not just about women helping women. We need to have male allies to make sure that women can speak up and be their best selves.
“Men should also speak up against other men if they see disrespectful behaviour. If he doesn’t step in or intervene, he’s not doing his part.”
Ms Bandana added: “I won’t say the problem is all men, but if quite a significant number of men are the root cause of the problem, then we should include all men in solving it.”
