Ex-drug addict fights for years to break free from prejudicial labels like ‘hopeless’

Mr Andrew Ho Shu Siang’s life took a downturn at the age of 13 when he was expelled from secondary school. This set off a chain of events that led to the next decade of his life collapsing like a house of cards.

However, the 30-year-old has turned his life around and will be taking part in The New Charis Mission’s Unlabelled Run on May 18 at OCBC Square. Now in its sixth year, the run aims to raise awareness about the detrimental effects of labels and promote their removal.

But it took a long journey of about a decade for him to get to this point.

The period of time was marked by crime and consequences, each marking a deeper plunge into darkness.

After he was expelled from secondary school for smoking, glue-sniffing and truancy among other things, he was caught shoplifting and sent to what is now called The Salvation Army Gracehaven for two years.

However, his behaviour did not improve in the hostel.

He ran away from the hostel twice in the first month and continued to misbehave. Eventually, the then 14-year-old was sent to complete his remaining sentence of 18 months in the Singapore Boys’ Home.

Looking back, Mr Ho thinks he was moved to the boys’ home as it was seen as an effective deterrent.

Young Andrew had been left to his own devices from about age six, when his father suddenly died. His mother had to work long hours to make enough to care for him, his sibling and her elderly parents.

Throughout his school years, Andrew was labelled as a “problem child”, and as being “stupid”, “lazy”, and “naughty” by teachers and peers. These words stuck and became part of his identity.

Mr Ho said: “I was neglected at home and at that age, I couldn’t articulate to my mother that I needed (attention). She was also always working. I didn’t realise that my mother was physically and emotionally in pain (until much later).”

He recalled the Boys’ Home being “harder”, partly because fighting among the 14-year-olds to 18-year-olds was a common occurrence. On top of that, being confined was hard for him to deal with.

“(Unlike the hostel), I was stuck in the home for 24 hours. There was no freedom and it felt like a prison. I became more violent and got into more trouble.”

After completing the 18 months, he “just wanted to be with his friends” as he was “looking for fun”.

Within two months of being released, he got more recalcitrant. At the age of 15, he started taking hard drugs.

He once recklessly took a variety of drugs in a 24-hour period and also went clubbing using borrowed identity cards. “I did not care about the consequences,” he said.

He also got caught for housebreaking and accumulated more than 100 charges for housebreaking, robbery and other illegal activities, and was sentenced to 30 months in the home again.

Although he went to a private school and sat his N-level exams while serving the 30-month sentence, he failed them. His mother registered him for the O levels four times, but he did not complete the exams.

He said: “I was never sober. Every day and night, I was constantly drugged out on Ice. I would go for the exams but just sat and slept. I was not interested in studying. I just paid lip service to please my mother.”

To further fuel his drug habit, he took up illegal jobs recommended by his friends, like being a loan shark runner.

His mother’s constant visits while he was in the home and pleas for change fell on deaf ears as he continued down a destructive path. He recalled her telling him to “please change” and that he would “end up in prison” if he continued that way. 

Mr Ho was eventually sentenced to two years’ jail in Changi Prison for drug offences when he was 20. This was after 24 months of drug rehabilitation at the Reformative Training Centre.

While in prison, Mr Ho lost the support of some family members and his self-esteem took a dive, leaving him feeling “really lost”. But a friend whom he had met at the Boys’ Home wrote him a letter which led him down a better path.

This friend believed he had the potential to change and suggested he go to The New Charis Mission (TNCM), a non-profit charitable organisation that helps people with a history of substance abuse or criminal behaviour.

There, Mr Ho was embraced by founder Pastor Don Wong, mentors and other older “brothers” with similar backgrounds to his. They believed in him and encouraged him to leave labels like “hopeless” and “useless” behind. 

“It really takes a village to change someone. At TNCM, I was embraced as a person. I was entrusted with responsibilities and was frequently positively affirmed.”

He said: “All ex-offenders go through a rough patch and need someone to believe in them. Labels were constant in my life, and so I lived life according to how I was labelled.”

Now, he aspires to break free from such limiting labels and hopes to erase them. 

In 2016, TNCM initiated the Unlabelled Run, a 5km fun run and 10km competitive run and – new this year – a 1km walk for special needs participants and their caregivers. Mr Ho serves on the committee and has actively participated in this project since 2018.

Six years after he first stepped into TNCM, he completed his O-level exam in one subject, English, and a diploma in social service. He will be pursuing further studies in social work while working on programmes that help young offenders and at-risk youth.

He now works in the programmes department at TNCM, where he is able to reach out to young offenders, at-risk youth and the elderly.

He said: “I am grateful to be able to contribute to society. I am most thankful to be able to gain back the trust of my family. 

“I definitely don’t blame my parents for the choices I made. Many factors played a part, and ultimately, it was my choice. I should have thought of the consequences more and been open to changing.”