Set up routines for foster child, a book for foster parents advises

The book, Fostering Relationships, was unveiled on Nov 5, where the Singapore Muslim Women’s Association Oasis marked its fifth anniversary for foster families. PHOTO: PPIS OASIS

SINGAPORE – Foster children may have grown up with a lack of predictability and structure, so setting up routines can create a sense of familiarity for them.

Rituals such as turning off all the lights in the house before sleep and setting the table for meals help the child to know what to expect, especially if he or she were neglected or abused.

This is the advice given to those who are thinking of fostering children, in a book, titled Fostering Relationships, that was launched on Saturday.

The book covers topics such as how to handle difficult behaviours in the foster child, as well as how to manage contacts with the child’s natural family, and the relationships between foster and biological children.

Featuring tips from social workers and experienced foster parents, the guide was unveiled at Trehaus preschool in Funan Mall, where the Singapore Muslim Women’s Association (PPIS) Oasis marked its fifth anniversary with a tea reception for foster families.

PPIS Oasis is the third fostering agency appointed by the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) since 2017. The other two are Epworth Community Services and Boys’ Town.

PPIS chief executive Tuminah Sapawi said the book will help new foster parents with advice from those who have fostering experience ranging from one to 19 years.

Mr Eric Chua, Senior Parliamentary Secretary for Social and Family Development, who was guest of honour at the event, commended PPIS Oasis, which is managing 140 foster children this year, compared to 75 in 2017.

“Foster families are not on this journey alone. MSF and fostering agencies such as PPIS Oasis, alongside professionals like psychologists and counsellors, provide support and guidance every step of the way,” he added.

Social workers in PPIS Oasis provide casework management, counselling, support groups and therapeutic services to foster parents and children. The agency also recruits and assesses new foster parents and volunteers.

Madam Lenny Haslinda Jaffar, 43, who has looked after a nine-year-old girl since 2019, said it was challenging for the girl to transition into her family initially.

The childcare teacher also had to manage conflicts between her foster daughter and her 14-year-old biological twins, and work to gain her trust.

“The best practices are helpful in giving ideas on how to build better and stronger relationships with our foster children,” she said.

Madam Zubaidah Abdullah, 35, who has fostered a five-year-old boy since 2019, said she will use the book to understand his behaviour to better support him.

“I want to learn to manage the different behaviour of each foster child,” said the public servant, who has her own one-year-old twins and is fostering for the first time.

There are about 550 foster children as at August 2022.

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