Guidelines for healthy caregiving boundaries not meant to be rules for families: Masagos

SINGAPORE - The guidelines spelling out appropriate caregiving boundaries between parents and their children are not rules to be enforced or prescriptive across all families, said Minister for Social and Family Development Masagos Zulkifli.

The Practitioners’ Resource Guide on Guidelines on Healthy Family Boundaries, which was developed by the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF), serves as general principles to guide professionals working with families in diverse situations, he said in a written parliamentary reply released on Jan 7.

He said: “MSF recognises that every family is unique, and some may face special circumstances.”

Mr Masagos was responding to parliamentary questions on the new guidelines, which detail appropriate boundaries in daily caregiving between parents and children in areas such as expressing affection, privacy and toileting.

For example, the guidelines state that it is inappropriate for parents to bathe their child of the opposite gender regularly when they can do so independently, and that it is inappropriate to force their child to show physical affection to someone they are uncomfortable with.

Ms Cheryl Chan (East Coast GRC) asked what social trends prompted the MSF to come up with the guidelines, and how families with financial challenges and living in “tight spaces” will be able to follow the guidelines.

Mr Yip Hon Weng (Yio Chu Kang) asked about the process behind the guidelines’ formulation, whether it took into account Singapore’s multiracial and multi-religious context, and how it addresses the challenges faced by single-parent or large families living in small spaces.

Mr Masagos said single-parent families may need to bathe their child of the opposite sex, but they should allow children to bathe themselves when they can do so independently, with verbal guidance if necessary.

For families with limited space at home, sleeping in the same room as their children may be unavoidable, he said.

Mr Masagos added: “However, parents should strive to provide privacy for children of the opposite sex, especially those who have already reached puberty, whether it be a separate sleeping mat, a bunk bed or similar alternatives.”

The MSF initiated the development of the guidelines as its staff and other professionals in the child protection field had observed parenting practices that, while not illegal, made their children feel uncomfortable.

Children have also expressed their unease or discomfort to the professionals helping them.

Mr Masagos said: “If a child represses their discomfort and tries to normalise the behaviour that makes them uneasy, it may inadvertently increase their vulnerability to harm in other contexts, such as outside the family or in social settings.

“Our starting principle as stated in the guidelines is that every child has the right to feel safe and that no child should be subjected to unsafe touches or told to keep quiet about inappropriate actions.”

Ms Yogeswari Munisamy, senior principal social worker at the MSF’s Child Protective Service, had previously told The Straits Times that one of the MSF’s concerns is that inappropriate boundaries within families can, in some cases, escalate into abusive behaviour over time.

Ms Yogeswari said research has shown that violations of such boundaries can lead to confusion and distress for the child, which may normalise inappropriate behaviour and increase the risk of abuse.

Mr Masagos said a workgroup comprising MSF staff consulted subject-matter experts such as paediatricians and the Ministry of Education’s Guidance Branch, which oversees school counsellors and student welfare officers, to develop the guidelines.

The workgroup also consulted representatives from the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Singapore, Hindu Advisory Board, Catholic Family Life, AMP Singapore and the National Council of Churches to ensure the guidelines reflect Singapore’s social and cultural context.

The workgroup’s recommendations for the guidelines are also backed by research.

Mr Masagos said the guidelines are designed for professionals in the child protection system who work with at-risk families, including children who are abused. These professionals include social service practitioners, paediatricians, medical social workers and school counsellors.

The guidelines are progressively being disseminated from end-December 2024, and will be incorporated into the current training for professionals in the child protection system, he said.

The guidelines include practical tips and advice, with examples of red flags and case scenarios, to help professionals identify situations that require more attention or collaboration.

For example, if the professionals suspect the child could be abused, they will report the case to the National Anti-Violence and Sexual Harassment Helpline (NAVH), where further screening and assessment will determine if the child was abused.

In a separate parliamentary question on Jan 7, Mr Louis Ng (Nee Soon GRC) asked how many cases of child abuse and child neglect were reported each year in the past five years to the NAVH and the actions taken.

Mr Masagos said the NAVH received about 3,400 inquiries relating to the abuse and neglect of children in 2023. This is up from about 2,200 and 2,400 such inquiries in 2021 and 2022, respectively. The helpline was launched in February 2021.

Cases with concerns of abuse or neglect will be referred to the relevant agencies, such as Child Protection Specialist Centres or the MSF’s Child Protective Service, for intervention after assessment.