Setting realistic expectations can help manage PSLE-related stress: Counsellor

SINGAPORE - As her daughter prepares to sit the Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE) in 2026, Ms Samantha Ding finds herself feeling stressed over how to best support her along the journey.

Previously working full-time, Ms Ding, 42, decided to take a freelance role to dedicate more time to helping her daughter, Candice Han, prepare for the exam. Yet, listening to her friends discuss their children’s good PSLE scores made her wonder if she was doing enough as a parent.

To better prepare herself to support her daughter, Ms Ding attended The Straits Times’ PSLE Stress Management Workshop on Jan 17 at SPH Auditorium.

The workshop is the first event under ST’s PSLE Companion series, curated for PSLE parents. 

The

PSLE Companion package

includes expert-led workshops, weekly articles and past-year PSLE content, plus unlimited access to ST’s content for 24 months.

The series is published every Monday in The Straits Times under the Smart Parenting pages.

Ms June Yong, a counselling associate and family life specialist from Focus on the Family, kicked off the first session by providing parents with tips and strategies on managing stress during the PSLE period.

A mother of three, Ms Yong drew from her personal experiences of helping her children manage their stress and anxiety leading up to the examination.

She said one way parents can help manage children’s emotions is by normalising stress, assuring them that feeling nervous before exams is normal.

She recommended teaching children calming techniques such as deep breathing, taking short breaks or listening to music to ease their nerves.

She also advised parents to manage their own stress by ensuring they have enough sleep, to seek support when needed and to set realistic expectations for themselves and their child.

The workshop, which ran from 10am to 12.30pm, also featured a panel discussion by Ms Jane Ng, a senior correspondent at ST, and Ms Estelle Low, editor-in-chief of The Singapore Women’s Weekly.

Topics discussed included prioritising the child’s effort over results, and encouraging non-academic interests to help develop strengths.

To end the workshop, Ms Sandra Davie, senior education correspondent at ST, spoke about how goal-setting can be a useful tool as part of preparation for the PSLE.

Writing down a specific goal, such as wanting to go from Achievement Level 4 (AL4) to AL2 for a subject, can help a child gain direction and motivation, she said.

These goals do not necessarily have to be related to PSLE scores, but can also be about being more organised with schoolwork.

Ms Davie added that parents must guide their children in the goal-setting exercise.

She said: “In the process, you will hopefully discover if your child’s aspirations match yours. Experts say parents often have higher expectations than their children, and (this) adds to the pressure that their children may feel.”

Speaking to ST after the workshop, Ms Ding said she is now more mindful of adjusting her own expectations to meet Candice’s needs.

“It’s a long journey, and I want to make life easier for her during this difficult period,” she said.

Another attendee, Ms Kalaimani Doraisami, 54, said the workshop helped her to be more aware of her own stress while supporting her daughter in preparing for the upcoming PSLE.

“The speakers gave good guidance on how I can reach out to my daughter, and help her to manage her anxiety leading up to the exam.”

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