Making memories that matter during the June school holidays

SINGAPORE – School holidays look different now that my children are 20, 17 and 10.

While the youngest has four weeks free as she does not have enrichment activities, the older two are busier.

This June, we will take our first family holiday without our eldest.

Travelling without one child is an inflection point that was bound to happen as the kids grow up and no longer have as much free time for the family, but it makes me nostalgic for the time when they were younger.

These days, we have to check the older ones’ schedules before we plan a family meal or gathering.

Trading spontaneity for scheduled fun

School holidays used to be sacred family time, especially when I was a stay-at-home mum for seven years.

Part of it was precious time bonding with my kids while my husband was at work, without the stressors of school such as homework, tests and schedules.

We did simple activities on the spur of the moment that did not require much planning: unhurried library runs or a visit to the second-hand bookshops at Bras Basah Complex, followed by tea at a cafe, each engrossed in our books.

Or we would go to a park or the zoo, spend half a day there before returning home, tired and perspiring but satisfied.

While we could do these activities on any weekend, the difference during school holidays is the luxury of a day that stretches out, with no place to rush to and no need to be home by a certain hour for bedtime.

Those weeks dedicated solely to spending time together mark a period I thoroughly relished, but also perhaps took for granted when I was in the throes of motherhood with two primary schoolers and one toddler at home.

That time with all three children hanging out at home with no place to be during the holidays passed sooner than I expected.

If I could turn back the clock, I would remind myself to slow down, forget about the laundry and housework for a while, and be thoroughly present and have more fun with my kids.

Delighting in simple getaways

When my husband had time off work, we would go for short trips, mainly to nearby destinations.

Exploring a foreign land together – soaking up new experiences, tasting new cuisines while seated on low street-side stools, sharing a small hotel room – these are memories that stay on long after the trip is over.

We also did impromptu weekend trips.

The spontaneity brings with it an element of excitement and adventure.

Travelling together is when the sometimes prickly sibling relationship is cemented.

On a 90-minute sampan ride in Ninh Binh, Vietnam, and on a two-hour journey from Bangkok to Samut Songkhram in Thailand, the two older children chat about everything from music to friends.

Beyond the destination

When I was not working full-time, we would travel to nearby places to keep costs low.

The older children would wonder when we could go to a fancy destination beyond South-east Asia, and I would remind them: It is not where you go, but whom you are with. And over the years, I have realised how true it is.

Some of the best moments during our recent family holidays had little to do with the actual destination.

Our favourite card games, like Monopoly Deal and Monopoly Bid, travel with us. And we keep an ongoing score card of wins from 2024, with the kids bagging the top spots currently.

No, we parents do not give in to them. We are highly competitive and play to win, even if some of us, namely their papa, are still looking for their first victory.

It is a game that binds the generations from the 10-year-old to us parents, and something we look forward to each holiday.

Cooking meals in a foreign apartment, after shopping for ingredients at an unfamiliar supermarket and improvising based on what is available, is another activity we enjoy.

Rituals that form family traditions

While it can be tempting to check off a to-do list and get the children to catch up on schoolwork, especially if they are weaker in one subject, make time to connect this June.

Simple rituals can become lasting family memories and these little moments help to nurture a sense of belonging.

My elder daughter still fondly remembers the holidays we spent library-hopping to hunt down her favourite books.

If you have younger children, think of it as making memories together that will buffer the tumultuous storms and turbulence of the teenage years.

If you have teens, it can be easier to let them hang out with their friends, but creating opportunities for them to spend time together as a family grounds them as they spread their wings in the years to come.

The school term is often hectic, and the workload increases in secondary school and beyond. While I cannot take away their academic stress, I can provide balance during the holidays.

In recent years, family holidays and outings have to be planned early to accommodate everyone’s schedules.

My older children no longer need me to go places with them, so I know that when they make time to hang out as a family, or ask to play card games together, it is because they want to, and I am thankful for that.

I would like to think that investing time in their early years will reap benefits for our relationship in the future, so that even when school holidays are no longer part of the equation, they will still want to spend time together.

I also hope they remember that good fun can be had without a fancy destination. It is about whom you are with. Always.