‘I just wanted to stay home and play’: Gaming took over teen’s life until he found muay thai

SINGAPORE - When Muhammad Darzley Abil received his first cellphone at the age of 11 in Primary 5, he did not know the grip that this small device would exert on his life, in ways he could never imagine.

His mother, Madam Norjuadeniwati Jumat, 43, who works in e-commerce, gave it to him as a way to contact him while he was travelling alone to and from school. Darzley however, found a different use for his phone.

The first app he downloaded was Mobile Legends: Bang Bang – a popular online multi-player game. Each match takes between 10 and 20 minutes, with players aiming to improve in rankings over time.

His mother did not think she needed to set parental controls on his device.

“I knew my son would not get into things like porn, or anything illegal, so I was not worried about his screen time,” she said.

Darzley was excited to have unlimited access to this game, and a couple of hours a day soon spiralled into gaming for most of the day.

Now 17 years old, he said: “It was an addiction. If you win, you want to win more and more. You just keep playing.”

By the time Darzley entered Primary 6, he was playing Mobile Legends constantly.

Recess was devoted to the game and not to playing with friends.

In class, he started out playing his game under the desk but grew so brazen that he would play openly. He knew he would get his phone back even if it was confiscated.

Once home, he often played until 5am.

With barely an hour of sleep, he would wake up late for school, or not at all.

“I slept in class a lot. Sometimes the teachers couldn’t wake me,” said Darzley, adding that when he was awake, he was constantly thinking about his games.

Fractured secondary school life

By Secondary 1, his gaming addiction was becoming costly. Though the game was free to download, he began spending on in-game purchases.

He estimates that he had spent about $4,000 in all – from his daily allowance for transport and meals – to buy virtual items that helped him get further and faster in the game.

“There were days I didn’t eat properly. I just played,” he said.

At home, his mother worried about his constant late nights, exhaustion and slipping grades.

His father was in and out of prison for most of his childhood, and she worked long hours to support him and his three younger sisters.

She would scold him and warn him about his future. But every time she took away his phone, he always knew where to find it.

In Sec 3, he stopped attending school regularly, or he would arrive hours late when he did go.

School counsellors encouraged him to return to school. But his interest had dissipated.

“I just wanted to stay home and play,” he said.

The turning point

When Darzley was in Sec 4, he realised that he did not know most of what had been taught in the previous year.

After scoring five marks out of 50 for a mathematics test, he realised just how far he had slipped academically.

“That one really broke me. I knew my attendance was bad and that I would fail, but I didn’t expect it to be that bad,” he said.

That failure led him to reflect on how his gaming addiction was destroying his life.

“I regret everything… Sleeping late, not sleeping at all, always gaming. It affects your memory, your focus and your life,” said Darzley.

Change did not happen all at once.

In Sec 2, school counsellors had referred him to Impart, a charity that helps vulnerable young people in crisis.

The charity mentored him and introduced him to muay thai.

Mr Calvin Leong, 28, Impart’s head of community programmes, said that changes in young people are often small and gradual, and not always immediately visible.

Though Darzley’s attendance in school remained patchy throughout Sec 2 and 3, he was active in Impart’s youth programmes and growing in confidence and social skills.

“Sometimes people expect miracles, like a total change in three months. But this is not the journey for everyone,” said Mr Leong.

Over time, Darzley became increasingly aware that his screen use habits were unsustainable.

Through sport, he found release in physical exertion rather than through a screen, and got more comfortable interacting with others face to face.

He also began forcing himself to sleep earlier, experimenting with relaxation techniques he learnt from his school counsellor.

“I realised it’s more fun to talk to real people than stare at a phone all day,” he said.

By Sec 4, his attendance had improved tremendously. And he had other things to look forward to besides online games.

Now a first-year student at ITE College East studying security system integration, Darzley admits that he still plays games for about four hours a day, but screen time does not rule his life the way it used to.

“When I’m bored, I will work out and train, or hang out with my friends,” he said, adding that his relationship with his mother has also improved.

Instead of her nagging him constantly about his excessive phone use, Madam Norjuadeniwati said they can have peaceful conversations now.

“He is more sensible... Now we are more like friends,” she said.

Darzley’s progress is encouraging and reflects the realities many young people face today, said Mr Leong. While he still plays games on his mobile phone, he is also able to lead a fruitful life.

“His priorities have changed, and he is thinking about the future… But that doesn’t omit his enjoyment of games,” he said, adding that many young people like Darzley benefit from controlled gaming, which helps them de-stress.

“In the past, he gamed for connection and belonging, but now he has found that connection and belonging through his friends in school and the community he is a part of in Impart,” said Mr Leong.

Darzley is looking forward to learning about investing as a career, and hopes to take part in his first professional muay thai bout this year.

“It was not a straight line for me, to get rid of screen addiction. But now I’m awake in the mornings, and in my life.”

Correction note: This story has been updated to correct the surname of Mr Calvin Leong, Impart’s head of community programmes.