Learning how to take care of herself and her loved ones

When her father suffered a sudden stroke in 2016, Ms Bridget Vargilia Welford quit her job in advertising to care for him during the day and worked night shifts as a buffet server at a hotel.

As his condition worsened over the years and he showed symptoms of dementia, she was overwhelmed by the responsibilities and financial constraints at home.

"It was stressful and depressing because I felt like nothing I did was right in his eyes. He was in denial about his ill health," she said.

Life at home became more difficult as Ms Bridget's father began exhibiting signs of dementia, forgetting words and disappearing from home, leaving the family to search for him. He also had delusions of being attacked.

Despite her advice to see a doctor, he was not willing to seek help. He died at the age of 61 in January 2019.

After his death, Ms Bridget faced health and financial issues of her own.

She also began worrying about her mother, Madam Eliza Monica De Silva, 59, who was exhibiting signs of dementia.

"I did not have anybody to advise me, and I had to figure out my way through trial and error," she said.

Ms Bridget, who lives with her mother and three siblings, is considering switching to a career in nursing, a field she has been passionate about for many years and which would allow her to better support her family.

Now 34, she joined an eight-week programme by Caregivers Alliance Limited for young caregivers of those with dementia at Bishan Community Club in April, hoping to learn more about dementia and caregiving.

She said: "At the beginning, I wondered if I was going to be judged for my views. After so many years of caregiving, obviously you become numb and frustrated.

"But through this course, I found others had similar experiences and I was able to look for new approaches to help my loved ones or future patients."

Through the programme, Ms Bridget also found a group of friends to connect with and gained a better understanding of her father's condition.

On what she has learnt during the course, she said: "I found out that playing music or performing cognitive activities like drawing can help dementia patients calm down when they are stressed.

"My biggest takeaway from the course is that self-care is important because if the caregivers fall sick, both they and the person they are caring for will suffer."