askST Jobs: I think I’m being gaslighted at work. What should I do?

In this series, business journalist Timothy Goh offers practical answers to candid questions on navigating workplace challenges and getting ahead in your career. Get more tips by signing up to The Straits Times’ Headstart newsletter.

Q: How can you protect yourself from being gaslighted in the workplace?

Gaslighting in the workplace is best understood as a pattern of psychological manipulation that causes subordinates or peers to doubt themselves, their memories or judgments, or worse, to distort their sense of reality.

A common sign of gaslighting is when employees are made to feel that their recollection of instructions or discussions is inaccurate, even when documentation exists, said Dr David Leong, chairman of PeopleWorldwide Consulting.

This is often accompanied by inconsistent performance expectations or retrospective changes to goals, which create a sense that one can never meet the required standard.

“Affected individuals may keep running loops in their heads, asking, ‘how can this be?’ or ‘did I do it wrong again?’, which reinforces doubt and a strong sense of disempowerment,” said Dr Leong.

An affected employee’s response should be measured and substantiated.

This includes maintaining clear records of instructions or requesting that superiors send their instructions via e-mail or WhatsApp so that the employee can act on the instructions clearly, said Dr Leong.

“Where ambiguity arises, employees should seek to confirm expectations in writing to reduce the risk of misinterpretation or miscommunication, which are often cited as reasons when things go wrong.

“If the bullying behaviours persist, it is appropriate to escalate through internal human resources or formal grievance channels, and where necessary, seek guidance from external bodies such as the Ministry of Manpower or the Tripartite Alliance for Fair and Progressive Employment Practices,” he added.

Ms Jasmine Liew, founder and chief executive of HR training consultancy Breakthrough Catalyst, said other signs of gaslighting include deflecting responsibility by blaming employees for issues not of their making, or maintaining a persistently negative narrative by diminishing their achievements or dishing out harsh criticism.

Employees may also face constant attacks on their professional capabilities that lead to self-doubt.

In such situations, employees can set boundaries by stating their position and the facts firmly, and disengaging from inaccurate or invalid arguments.

They should also build a support network by connecting with trusted colleagues or mentors who may have witnessed the behaviour, said Ms Liew.

Dr Leong said that for employers, gaslighting is fundamentally an issue of governance and culture.

“Organisations have a responsibility to ensure that managerial practices are transparent, consistent and anchored in respect, and that instructions are properly issued via e-mail or other recorded means,” he said.

“This requires clear conduct policies, proper training in performance management and credible, independent mechanisms for handling grievances.

“Left unaddressed, such behaviours can lead not only to disengagement and attrition, but also to broader reputational and organisational risks that undermine long-term sustainability,” he added.