askST Jobs: How do I deal with a bossy colleague who keeps telling me how to do my work?

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Q: A colleague whom I don’t report to keeps making unsolicited comments on how to do my work. How should I engage with a bossy colleague?

A: Colleagues are free to provide guidance to each other, says Mr Sunil Dutta, senior principal consultant for human resources and business support for recruitment firm Robert Walters Singapore.

He notes that guidance entails providing explicit and implicit boundaries on what can and cannot be done, and the various methods or avenues to perform a task with the resources available.

Problems arise when colleagues without the required authority or oversight frame these comments as instructions that an employee is compelled to act on.

This undermines the employee’s ability to judge, plan and make decisions on how best to perform job tasks, Mr Dutta says, and may come across as “bossy”.

Someone may be considered bossy for acting beyond their defined job scope, the issues they are accountable for, and the amount of influence they have over operations, he adds.

Bossy colleagues also impose their opinions on others, refuse to consider alternative opinions and issue instructions rather than provide suggestions with reasons.

They may also adopt a disrespectful tone, Mr Dutta says.

He suggests employees flag the issue to either their own direct reporting manager or human resources (HR) team, depending on the specifics of the situation.

Speaking to the direct reporting manager would help bring the manager up to speed on the attempted interference and clarify whether the employee is expected by the manager to act on the colleague’s comments.

However, the manager would not have the power to directly mete out disciplinary measures, if the bossy colleague is showing bullying behaviour.

Meanwhile, Mr Dutta says, it is HR that governs how the teams with different scopes of work interact with each other.

“HR has the ability and disciplinary power to put a stop to bullying behaviour,” he adds.

Hence, employees may consider going through one or both avenues for resolution, he advises.

When it comes to calling out bossy colleagues, Mr Dutta suggests clearly and firmly telling the colleague it is not their place to insist something is done in a certain way.

For instance, a worker can express appreciation for the comments, but add that the co-worker should not be bothered by the issue as it is the worker’s own responsibility.

Workers can also say they prefer to take direct instructions from their manager rather than from the colleague.

However, he notes that results may vary depending on factors including how cordial the existing relationship is, if seniority levels between both colleagues differ, as well as the overall workplace culture.

Summing up, Mr Dutta says: “Bossy people alienate employees – no employee likes to feel that they are not empowered.”

As for what managers and organisations can do to ensure a positive exchange of ideas while dissuading such bossy behaviour, Mr Dutta suggests instilling respect for differing opinions.

This can be put into practice with good onboarding processes at the start, led by HR and maintained by line managers.

A diverse workplace would also naturally foster a respect for difference, and a culture of accountability ensures people feel responsible for what they each have to deliver, Mr Dutta adds.

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