askST Jobs: I struggle to say ‘no’ at work. How can I set boundaries?

In this series, business journalist Timothy Goh offers practical answers to candid questions on navigating workplace challenges and getting ahead in your career. Get more tips by signing up to The Straits Times’ Headstart newsletter.

Q: What is the best way to push back against additional tasks without being seen as uncooperative or lazy?

Saying “no” is not a refusal, but a form of prioritisation. Boundary-setting should therefore be framed as managing commitments, rather than rejecting work or appearing uncooperative.

Employees can link their response to existing priorities and discuss trade-offs with their managers, said Dr David Leong, chairman of HR solutions firm PeopleWorldwide Consulting.

“Clarity protects both performance and well-being. Managers may insist, but priorities need to be clear, so it is useful to lay out your existing tasks and check which should be done first,” he said.

Dr Leong also noted that consistency helps reset expectations, as workplace norms are shaped by past behaviour. If employees are always saying “yes”, this can quickly become the default expectation.

“Small, consistent boundary-setting gradually recalibrates how others engage with you... Knowing how to give a constructive response is not about a blunt ‘no’, but a negotiated trade-off, highlighting what can be done, by when, and at what cost to other priorities,” he said.

Ms Jennifer Loh, an organisational performance adviser and executive coach at recruitment firm Talent Merge, said many employees are conditioned to believe that saying “yes” gets them ahead and that saying “no” is a career risk, but the opposite is often true.

“When you cannot say no, you are not showing commitment. You are signalling that you do not know your own value and are allowing others to define your priorities and time,” she said.

Ms Loh noted that the inability to set boundaries is rarely about workload, but is often driven by fear of judgment, being seen as uncommitted, or losing relevance.

“Saying yes out of fear does not build credibility. It can erode it and ultimately diminish the respect others have for you,” she said.

Mr Michael Foo, founder of Positive Minds Coaching, said many business leaders hear “setting boundaries” and assume employees are prioritising their own interests at the expense of the team, but this framing can cost organisations their best people.

“Setting boundaries at work is fundamentally about prioritisation. When done well, this does not create winners and losers; it creates the conditions for everyone to succeed,” he said.