SINGAPORE - After eight years of what Ms Siti Hajilah Adam thought was a happy marriage, her worst fear came true.

The father of her three young children, who are now 13, 14 and 16 years old, sat her down and confessed he was having an affair.

As she stared in shock at the walls of their matrimonial home, she begged her husband to forget the other woman and give their family a second chance.

The 44-year-old tried her best to make herself more desirable to him, investing in make-up and a new look. Her husband, though kind to her and their children, was still unwilling to put an end to the affair.

After months of the one-sided and futile charade, Ms Siti knew she had to put herself first. She followed through with the divorce.

Telling her story in a book about women grappling with issues such as caregiving, divorce and employability, Ms Siti wrote: “I was getting exhausted with the fake life we had been living as a family and trying to make him fall in love with us all over again.

“I felt that I wanted my dignity and pride back, even if I had to become a single mum.”

Ms Siti, who was in the graphic design industry, took a break from work after the divorce proceedings in 2014 to come to terms with her emotions.

She never expected that five-month break would affect her employability once she was ready to join the workforce again.

“I thought going back to work and picking up where I left off would be easy. How wrong I was,” she recounted in the book, Dreams Of Our Daughters, published by non-profit organisation Daughters of Tomorrow (DOT).

Speaking to The Straits Times, she said that when recruiters found out she was a single mother, she could tell she was not going to get the job.

“It was difficult because employers would ask so many questions, like who would take care of my children and how my caregiving arrangements would be like. Most of them were considering (to hire me) but maybe they didn’t want to take the risk.”

She said that they implied she would not be able to cope with the demands of the industries she was applying to.

Money was tight, as her former husband did not provide maintenance after moving to Australia with his new wife.

Getting back into the graphic design industry proved to be harder than she thought.

To make ends meet, she ended up taking a job at a student care centre instead.

“There was a quiet anger that I kept hidden deep within me, and it was in danger of exploding. Maybe my co-workers at the centre could sense the hostility within me because they made my life at work a living hell,” she wrote in the book.

“I cried every day that I worked there; maybe some of the tears were for my marriage that had ended.”

Dreams Of Our Daughters, which tells the stories of Ms Siti and other women, shows that caregiving and family responsibilities can pose a barrier to women’s careers.

The book noted: “For families with sufficient financial resources and a stable social or family network, the burden of caregiving can be somewhat eased.”

But many who live in public rental flats either cannot afford professional caregiving help, or may not be able to balance it with work, it added.

DOT seeks to improve livelihood opportunities for lower-income women. Inadequate childcare is the single largest barrier to employment among DOT beneficiaries, affecting 35 per cent of them in 2021, according to the organisation’s needs assessment analysis.

Proceeds from the book, priced at $20, will go towards DOT’s operations to support the beneficiaries.

As for Ms Siti, she quit the job she disliked, and eventually found another job as a graphic designer at a small business.

She said: “My three children are my first priority to keep going. I need to live and be strong to be able to single-handedly provide them with food, love and care.”