‘I can count on her’: Simple text messages that matter to this single mother

Almost every day, Ms S Saalini’s phone pings with purposeful messages. It could be a quick check-in, a reminder, or just a word of encouragement.

Three months ago, there were no such messages. She faced her struggles alone.

The 33-year-old single mother lives in a public rental flat in Punggol with her 10-year-old daughter. Her days used to be spent caring for her child and working ad-hoc shifts as a security relief officer.

She dropped out of a double diploma programme in forensic psychology and criminology at a private institution as she faced challenges with her mental health, which she says stemmed from a complex childhood. She declined to go into details.

She is currently unemployed.

The idea of seeking help seemed overwhelming. So when hope came knocking on her door last October, Ms Saalini was sceptical.

At the door was Ms Nurul Huda Muhammad Akmal Tay, 24, her new family coach from the Ministry of Social and Family Development’s (MSF) ComLink+ initiative.

ComLink+ aims to uplift lower-income families with children residing in public rental housing towards the “3S”: stability, self-reliance and social mobility. Family coaches and volunteer befrienders journey with ComLink+ families on their customised action plans to support their needs and aspirations.

To her surprise, Ms Saalini found herself opening up to the younger woman during that visit. She talked about her difficulties, how she copes, and her hopes for her daughter.

“It really felt like she was hearing me; that made me want to share more,” she recalls. “I could feel that Huda was being genuine so it was easier to open up.”

Now, Ms Huda checks in on Ms Saalini several times every week over text messages. They meet once a month in person.

Ms Huda often recommends events and programmes – ranging from family bonding activities to enrichment sessions for children – for Ms Saalini and her daughter to participate in, and encourages her to take small steps towards her goals.

With Ms Huda’s support and encouragement, Ms Saalini has applied for ComCare financial assistance. She also plans to enrol in the National Institute of Early Childhood Development for an Advanced Certificate in Early Years. She wants to work in infant care.

Her daughter, too, has benefitted from ComLink+ programmes like YouSparkle, which nurtures children’s confidence and well-being through singing and performances.

She also gets help with her Primary 4 studies from National University of Singapore volunteer befrienders, arranged by Ms Huda. “They had a session where my daughter was acting like the teacher,” says Ms Saalini. “She had a lot of fun.”

Collaborative care

These opportunities to extend help to those in need are why Ms Huda joined MSF as a family coach last July, even before completing her sociology degree. This is her first full-time job.

She graduated from Nanyang Technological University, where she minored in youth work and guidance, in July 2024.

As a family coach, she works with 19 families living in public rental housing and with children aged below 21 on their journey towards stability, self-reliance and social mobility.

Her approach is simple: Understand goals, and break the process down into manageable steps.

For example, if the focus is on employment, “I will ask if they need help with job searching, referrals for career coaches or courses, if they have cleaned up their resume, or how their interviews went”, she says.

Her belief that the families she works with would best know what they need is also why she believes that she can contribute to their journey despite her relative youth.

Ms Huda, who is single, explains: “Coming into the role, I was very aware that I haven’t lived as much life, and I don’t have children. Why should they listen to me?”

“But the way I see it is, I’m not trying to tell them what to do with their lives. (They) are the experts on themselves. I’m really just here to make sure that they make the most informed decisions for themselves and their families.”

It also helps that family coaches like her go through a six-week foundation training programme, she says, and never work alone. “I do meet the families on my own, but I touch base with my supervisor, and bounce ideas off my colleagues.”

With the ComLink+ initiative’s emphasis on team-based care, she also collaborates with other agencies and organisations for assistance.

For example, she is currently helping a mother navigate student care subsidies while exploring job opportunities. That involves coordinating between the school, student care centre and financial aid resources.

A journey together

Ms Huda may have been a family coach for less than a year, but she is proud of the progress she’s seen with many of the families she’s coaching.

One father, with her encouragement, secured both financial assistance from MSF and a job as a temporary product handler. 

“I remember being very excited (for) him,” says Ms Huda. He sent her pictures of his personal protective equipment and what he would look like on the job, and kept her updated on his progress on his first day.

Her relationship with each family is a journey that could span years, with setbacks and breakthroughs along the way. She remains with them until their youngest child turns 21 years old.

“There have been times when I felt a conversation went well, but then they don’t reply to my texts; When I call, they don’t pick up.

“In those cases, I’ll do home visits, and try to find out what happened.”

Along the way, she has learnt and grown. “At the start, I struggled to build rapport with my families during the home visits. I wasn’t completely present.

“I was thinking about the follow-up questions I had to ask, and writing everything they said in a notebook so I do not miss anything.”

She has since put away the notebook – only scribbling notes immediately after the visits – and adjusted her approach.

“Now I think of it as talking to a friend. Understanding that I’m in their home in a professional capacity, but also just being there for them. This has helped a lot.”

That shift in perspective has helped her deepen her connection with the families she works with. “I love what I do, and love seeing the bond between myself and my families grow.

“When they send me photos of their kids or feel comfortable enough to say ‘hi’ when we meet outside – such moments mean a lot to me.

”For Ms Saalini, Ms Huda’s steady, reassuring presence has made a world of difference.

“I know that if I feel down, I can turn to her,” Ms Saalini says, “I know that at the end of the day, I can count on her.”

Uplifting families

ComLink+ represents a shift from providing social assistance to empowering families to achieve their aspirations. Enhanced in July 2023, it builds on earlier efforts to proactively reach out to and coordinate relevant support for lower-income families with children.

Under ComLink+:

Today, the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) supports around 10,000 ComLink+ families. Since March 2024, MSF has extended support to families not living in public rental housing, with plans to assist an additional 3,000 families over the next two years.

In partnership with the Ministry of Social and Family Development, in support of the Year of Celebrating Social Service Professionals