‘Nobody deserves to be alone’: Why Mummy and Acha have fostered over 20 children in the past 22 years

As a first-time foster parent, Madam Anitha Sivadasan was not sure what to expect.

When paired with a nine-year-old with behavioural issues, the stay-at-home mother found it a challenge to manage her as she was also caring for her own young children then. She and her husband, Mr Sivachandran Palaniasmy, tried their best but could not continue caring for the child, so the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) made alternative care arrangements.

To help foster parents like Madam Anitha navigate the challenges of caregiving,

MSF and the fostering agencies

walk alongside them with resources like training and round-the-clock support, including a 24-hour hotline in the case of any emergencies.

As such, instead of being deterred by her first experience, Madam Anitha strengthened her resolve and put in a request to MSF to let her foster younger children instead.

Watch to learn how Madam Anitha and Mr Sivachandran have opened their hearts and home to their foster children over the years.

That decision would reshape the next two decades of their lives. The married couple, then parents to two young children – one in kindergarten and the other in lower primary school – committed to sacrifices that lasted over 10 years. To prioritise the care of their foster children, they chose not to make overseas trips or go on holidays.

The former childcare teacher had resigned from her job in 2003 to be a stay-at-home mother. Before leaving the childcare centre, her co-worker floated

the idea of fostering

.

“I want to give them a home, where they feel safe. I want to give my love to children who are underprivileged,” she says of her decision.

“Both of us decided that maybe it’s time for us to do something. While I stay at home and look after my children, I can also foster and give other little ones a happy home,” says Madam Anitha, whose foster children call her “Mummy”, and Mr Sivachandran, “Acha” (Acha is father in Malayalam and Madam Anitha is of Malayali descent).

Their own children – now both working adults – also pitched in to help take care of their foster siblings, without complaints. They also had a helper for additional support.

Over time, as the family got used to the rigours of fostering, they have managed to go on staycations in Singapore.

‘When I see the kids happy, I also feel happy’

However, fostering can also be exhausting and demanding. Madam Anitha and Mr Sivachandran have had children in their care that needed plenty of hands-on involvement. 

These included premature twins, and even a baby that the doctor said would not survive his congenital asthma (but he did, under their care).

And now, staying with them long-term are two boys – one diagnosed with Down syndrome and the other with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder – aged four and 15 respectively.

Mr Sivachandran, who works full-time in the maintenance line, accompanies the children to hospital when they are sick, takes them cycling or swimming, and obliges the four-year-old with the long bus rides he loves.

He says: “Fostering is a big commitment and my colleagues remind me that I’m getting old, but I feel it’s all for a good cause. My wife is doing a great thing; she has the patience and can understand them, and I give her my full support.”

Adds Madam Anitha: “Initially we thought we’d go through a lot of pain and stress. But I’m surprised by how fulfilling it feels, even after doing it for 20 years. It’s like giving back something to society. When I see the kids happy, I also feel happy. Nobody deserves to be alone.”

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