Filipino teens celebrate coming-of-age with traditional bash in Singapore

SINGAPORE –Temasek Polytechnic student Andrea Din celebrated her 18th birthday in December 2024 in grand style: about 120 guests showed up at the Holiday Inn Orchard ballroom.

Filipino customs were followed; the birthday girl danced with 18 male relatives or friends, receiving a rose from each one. Her female relations and friends lit 18 candles and offered her well-wishes.

This is the “18 roses” tradition, a part of an 18-year-old girl’s coming-of-age celebration, known as a “debut”.

Ms Din, a product experience and design student, is among Singapore-based female students of Filipino descent who keep this tradition even while abroad.

It is a joyous gathering that is often planned and celebrated by the birthday girl’s family and friends. The custom is also catching on among non-Filipino students with friends in the Filipino community.

“It’s the one time you get to celebrate you, and it’s a good way to connect everyone in your family,” said Ms Din. “You get to show your Filipino side to your Singaporean friends, too.”

For debuts that take place in Singapore, Filipino families can sometimes invite more than a hundred guests, including relatives who live in the Philippines. A party can cost upwards of $5,000. The party venues vary in size, from as small as a karaoke studio to as large as function halls and hotel ballrooms.

On this occasion, partygoers dress to the nines. And the birthday girl, usually in a ballgown fit for a princess, is the star.

Attendees may take part in traditions that show their affection for her. For example, those closest to her present 18 gifts – or “treasures” – and make speeches to express their gratitude for the celebrant.

There is also the custom involving 18 roses and 18 candles, which was displayed at Ms Din’s debut.

Bringing people together

Planning a debut is a team effort. Often, the debutante’s friends and parents take care of the venue booking, catering, decorations and programme.

Ms Din’s bash was planned by her mother and a team of “titas” (aunts or family friends) from her church.

The debutante and her friends started things off with a ballroom-style and hip hop dance routine they had rehearsed hard to perfect. Then, Miss Din sang, her friends playing the guitar and singing along.

Friends who attended the same church as her gave speeches about watching her grow up – something that moved her a lot.

“They knew me as a shy, timid person, but now they see me stepping up to serve our church confidently,” she said. “To hear them say that made me shed a tear.”

To thank her guests, Ms Din gave out about 120 blind box figurines that she designed herself.

Ms Paulyn Grace Aleta, another Filipino student here, is helping other girls plan their debut.

The 23-year-old Singapore University of Social Sciences student had her own debut six years ago, with a 1950s-themed party, where her friends sang her favourite song by The Beach Boys.

Ms Aleta said the special performances and gifts from those in her community made her feel recognised.

Since then, she has arranged her best friend’s debut and volunteered to coordinate the food, decorations and the programmes for four other debutantes, including Ms Din.

She even sourced custom-made decorations for her brother’s 25th birthday, which was themed around Filipino street style. While less common, Filipino men often celebrate their debut at 21.

Helping debutantes is her way of passing down tradition.

Ms Aleta, who moved her as a child, said: “Growing up here, there are things I feel I missed out on. Having this debut brings you back to being a Filipino.”

Her experience planning other girls’ debuts prompted her to work in the events industry for two years, where she sourced venues and helped set up events, before entering university.

Influenced by the community

Some non-Filipino students are picking up this custom too.

Singaporean Charis Joy Siah, 21, grew up attending a church with a mostly Filipino congregation.

So her mother encouraged her to have a coming-of-age celebration just like her Filipino friends.

Her debut did not take place when she turned 18 because of the Covid-19 pandemic, so she had a big bash for her 21st birthday instead.

Ms Siah is so in tune with Filipino culture that she drops Tagalog words into her conversations with ease – for example, saying that the cost of a debut depends on how “maarte” (dramatic) a debutante is.

Tagalog is one of the major languages spoken in the Philippines.

“There’s a lot more life that goes into these parties. Filipinos, in general, are much more welcoming, much more joyful,” said the NTU student.

Her debut was a community affair. Her parents’ friends helped with the decor and baked cake, while her friends planned the programme and set up the venue.

The party theme was inspired by her favourite Netflix series Bridgerton, a romantic drama set in London in the 1800s, and even the emcees’ script was written in 19th-century English.

In place of 18 roses, candles and treasures, attendees read out 21 letters, dedicated songs and gave flowers to her.

“To Singaporeans, it might seem dramatic,” Ms Siah said. “But I don’t just celebrate myself, I celebrate all these people too.”

She said many debutantes are at the age when they feel unsure about their place in life. So, seeing their community come together to celebrate their coming of age can be a source of confidence.

“You see 80 people gather because they love you, you get to witness 21 years of all these people playing a part in your life,” she said. “It helps a lot for your self-esteem.”