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To be happy, marriage matters more than career
Yet, parents send the opposite message to the young.
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Intimate relationships, not career, are at the core of life, and those relationships will have a downstream effect on everything else you do, says the writer.
PHOTO ILLUSTRATION: PEXELS
David Brooks
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When I am around young adults, I like to ask them how they are thinking about the big commitments in their lives: what career to go into, where to live, whom to marry. Most of them have thought a lot about their career plans. But my impression is that many have not thought a lot about how marriage will fit into their lives.
The common operating assumption seems to be that professional life is at the core of life, and that marriage would be something nice to add on top some time down the road. An analysis of recent survey data by Professor Brad Wilcox of the University of Virginia showed that 75 per cent of adults aged 18 to 40 said making a good living was crucial to fulfilment in life, while only 32 per cent thought that marriage was crucial to fulfilment. In a Pew Research Centre survey, 88 per cent of parents said it was “extremely or very” important for their kids to be financially independent, while only 21 per cent said it was “extremely or very” important for their kids to marry.
