Letter of the week: Have kids? Yes, yes and yes
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Without kids, we’re simply not wringing the most out of life while we’re here, says the writer.
PHOTO: ST FILE
I enjoyed the commentary by Dr Kalpana Vignehsa and Dr Matthew Hammerton about whether to have children (Thinking twice about having kids even if money isn’t an issue?, Oct 6). It was a fascinating demonstration of how to look at the issue through various prisms to help people reach a decision.
I’m no academic like the authors, but offer my point of view as a simple working-class chap.
I did not have my first kid until the age of 41. I spent a good number of years as a childless adult (which I certainly enjoyed). I have a pretty clear idea of the differences between life with kids and life without them.
Simply put, in life, kids are what we’re here for.
Not having kids is like going to the finest Michelin-starred restaurant in Paris, and eating only the bread and drinking the tap water.
Not having kids is like going to Disneyland and not going on Space Mountain.
It’s like buying a Porsche 911, and using it only to drive to the local Sheng Siong to pick up groceries, never getting above the 50kmh speed limit.
It’s like going to the Bernabeu stadium in Madrid, and spending 90 minutes queueing at the hot dog stand instead of watching the game.
Without kids, we’re simply not wringing the most out of life while we’re here.
The range of experiences, the range of feelings, the range of emotions – both positive and negative – before you have kids is probably 10 per cent of what you experience after you have them.
It’s like someone opened the door to an enormous room – when you didn’t even know the door existed. It’s as though the cinema screen just turned to Imax. It’s like you got upgraded from economy to first.
You come unstuck, and reach a new stage of life. You deal with challenges and situations bigger than you ever had to deal with before, and grow into an adult as a result. You no longer wonder why you’re here or what the purpose of life is. You self-actualise and become who you were meant to be.
There are some people who can’t have kids. I understand. But if you have the choice, and you want to really “live while you’re alive”, there’s no question.
Have kids.
Philip Rowell
