Letter of the week: Fitting in should not mean changing who you are

Fomo or the fear of missing out is often triggered by things you see on social media. It’s a feeling that I know all too well.

Last year, as a new Secondary 1 student, I was eager to fit in and make friends, but my efforts didn’t quite go as planned.

I remember the first time I felt intense Fomo. A friend was posting a group photo on Instagram, and everyone was sharing their usernames for tagging. When she asked for mine, I sheepishly admitted that I didn’t have Instagram.

Although no one seemed to care, it felt like a punch to the gut. The thought of them having fun without me – sending reels, liking posts – consumed me.

So, I downloaded Instagram, fully aware my parents would not approve. I did not even care about social media; I just did not want to be left out.

Soon, Fomo took over. I found myself changing my hairstyle, buying crop tops and miniskirts I thought were ugly, and pretending to be fascinated with drama – all just to fit in. I was doing all these things, but not a single one brought me joy.

How ironic. I had worked so hard to become the “best version” of myself, following trends, buying the latest products, but I disliked who I had become.

I hated myself for being so fake. Fomo had turned me into someone else completely, filling me with unhappiness.

This year, I decided to embrace my authentic self. I have changed a lot in the past year, and for the better.

I actually feel like myself again. I genuinely love the person I am now.

We must stay true to ourselves. Making friends does not mean you have to change who you are.

Joan Sim Rui En