Forum: Treat caregivers as patients too to better supervise their mental health

It was difficult to read the article about how a father took the lives of his sons (Father sentenced to 14 years’ jail for killing autistic twin sons, 11, in Bukit Timah, Aug 15).

It is hard to comprehend the state of mind that compelled him to act the way he did. However, this is precisely what we must attempt to do – understand the stress caregivers struggle with.

When my late mother was initially suspected of having dementia, I did not know how the following months as a caregiver would come to affect my physical and mental well-being.

It became tougher by the day as I had to cope with my mother’s mood swings alongside her failing health. We were in and out of polyclinics and hospitals at least once a month as I fulfilled my role as her caregiver.

Countless doctors and nurses acknowledged my responsibilities, and gave me pamphlets containing advice. They taught me how to lift my mum in and out of a wheelchair and how to continue her post-physiotherapy exercises at home. But none of these medical professionals had asked if I was coping all right.

Caregivers, feeling guilty or helpless, can become depressed. Left unchecked, these negative feelings may drive them to their wits’ end, as the father Xavier Yap’s actions have unfortunately shown.

I feel that once a person is declared a patient who requires constant vigilance, his caregivers should also be treated as patients requiring medical supervision for their mental and emotional states of mind.

I hope our organised health, education and community support systems can look more into this matter.

We need to stop shying away from expressing grief, trauma and vulnerabilities. To nurture a caring society, we also need to be aware and brave enough to help, or listen to, family, friends and strangers. We all can do more to look after one another.

Gurmit Singh Kullar