Forum: Time to change parenthood’s poor ‘advertising’

Recent Department of Statistics figures show that the percentage of childless, ever-married resident women aged 40 to 49 has more than doubled from 7.1 per cent in 2004 to 15 per cent in 2024 (

Married without kids? It’s becoming a lot more common in Singapore these days,

March 2).

When viewed alongside Singapore’s historically low total fertility rate, it becomes increasingly clear that parenting is losing its appeal as a life choice.

Commonly cited reasons for not having children include the high cost of living, career priorities, lifestyle changes and the immense responsibility of raising a child.

Some even point to concerns about the environment, fearing that bringing a child into an uncertain future may only lead to suffering.

Despite relentless government efforts to encourage childbirth, birth rates continue to decline with no signs of improvement. At this rate, Singapore may soon revert to its historical roots as a migrant nation.

What makes parenting so unappealing to younger generations? While current statistics focus on married women aged 40 to 49, it is reasonable to assume that younger cohorts will continue this trend.

I believe a key factor is the poor “advertising” of parenthood.

Ask parents to describe their experience, and you will often hear words like tired, loss of freedom, endless chauffeuring, pressure to succeed and sacrifice of time. These words paint a bleak picture, one that understandably discourages young people from considering parenthood.

Yet, I firmly believe that parents enjoy parenting far more than they let on – they are simply humble about it and do not always showcase the joy it brings.

For me, raising four wonderful boys with my inspirational wife and my loving parents has been the greatest journey of my life. From the moment my eldest son opened his eyes to my youngest entering primary school last year, my life has been filled with love, laughter and a profound sense of belonging.

Instead of focusing solely on what my sons can potentially achieve in life, I prioritise building strong, loving relationships with and among them. A healthy family bond makes every achievement more meaningful, every success more joyful, and every setback easier to bear.

If parents start emphasising and sharing the softer, more rewarding aspects of raising children, wouldn’t we become better ambassadors for parenthood?

If we openly celebrate the love, connection and purpose that parenting brings, we might just inspire the next generation to embrace rather than avoid it.

Benny Lai