Forum: School environments need to be psychologically safe for children

The Opinion piece “What children wish adults understood about school bullying” (May 11) rightly highlights the importance of psychological safety and listening to children’s experiences.

Bullying among children is not always a clear-cut story of one bully and one victim. More often, it unfolds within complex peer relationships where friendship, belonging, social status and harm can coexist.

A child may still consider someone a friend even when that friendship is hurting them. The need for acceptance can feel overwhelming, and many children stay in painful relationships because exclusion feels even worse.

Bullying can also look like repeated ridicule disguised as jokes, exclusion, private messages, shifting alliances or the fear of becoming the next target. While these forms of harm may be less visible to adults, children can experience them as a social environment that feels unsafe and emotionally exhausting.

These realities shape whether children feel able to seek help. Some fear losing friends. Some worry they will not be believed. Others already carry labels such as “difficult” or “troublemaker”, causing their experiences to be dismissed or minimised.

This is why psychological safety in schools matters so deeply. Children must be able to speak up without fear of dismissal or retaliation, and trust that adults will respond fairly. They need adults who are willing to look beyond what is immediately visible and understand the emotional realities underneath.

It is also important that restorative approaches are handled with care. If a child who has been harmed is brought into the process too early, it can feel overwhelming or unsafe, despite good intentions. Children who cause harm need meaningful opportunities to understand the impact of their actions, take responsibility and make amends rather than simply comply with punishment.

Without careful guidance, the process can become shallow and may not lead to real understanding or change. Children don’t just learn what we teach, they absorb how we are with them.

Lasting change requires more than responding to bullying after it happens. It requires psychologically safe school environments where children feel secure and supported, and where adults are willing to listen carefully to the complex realities children navigate every day.

Hana Alhadad (Dr)