Forum: Important to restore love scam victims’ confidence in relationships
Sign up now: Get ST's newsletters delivered to your inbox
Follow topic:
Love scams have become more sophisticated as scammers invest more time and effort to paint a sob story while manipulating victims to depend on them for emotional intimacy.
Falling for a love scam isn’t about being gullible or “stupid” or ignorant. It’s about how isolation, loneliness and the need for connection can be exploited by others. These scams target something profoundly human – the longing to feel seen, valued and loved.
Social workers like myself need to be aware of the more isolated members of our communities. Loneliness, due to a lack of family support, strained relationships or just a tough phase in life, is a vulnerability that often goes unnoticed.
The solution to avoid being scammed isn’t as simple as blocking numbers or downloading anti-scam apps. Those might address the immediate risk, but they don’t touch the deeper issue: the lack of meaningful relationships in the victim’s life.
Relationship-building is also central to the healing process. Many victims of love scams struggle with shame, self-blame and mistrust of others. They may feel embarrassed or judged, which can deepen isolation.
This is where social workers can step in. Our role isn’t just to address the practical fallout of the scam, but to rebuild their sense of connection and belonging.
This means creating a safe space where they feel heard and understood, without judgment. It means helping them reconnect with supportive family members, join community groups or find ways to meet others who share their interests. It’s about restoring their confidence in relationships – whether with themselves, their loved ones or their community.
Victims of love scams should not face humiliation and ridicule. A proactive curiosity about the victim’s needs and compassion for the hurt caused are needed.
The trauma of being manipulated emotionally can affect how the person relates to others in everyday life. Anxiety over whom to trust and depression over losing a potential relationship may require long-term support and professional counselling to treat.
We should also remember that the victim’s chances of being healed begin with our response.
Daniel Lopez
