Forum: Help girls in top schools cope with life’s challenges

I thought my own family’s experience was an isolated one until I read the article (

New NIE study to examine well-being and behaviour of girls in top secondary schools

, June 10). According to the article, the study was sparked by research findings in the US, which showed that youth in high-achieving schools showed clinically significant anxiety and depression about six to seven times higher than national norms.

My daughter was a student in a top girls’ school until two years ago. Her four years in this school were possibly the darkest period in her life.

Once a smiling and bubbly young girl, she became a shadow of herself, wracked with anxiety, self-doubt, and occasional crying episodes. She often questioned why she had chosen this school, and said she never felt she belonged.

She told me that many girls in her school go there to “network” – it’s not about making friends or enjoying each other’s company, but to make connections with girls of a certain background. Isn’t school meant to be for learning and making life-long friends?

My daughter also noticed cuts on a former classmate’s thighs. Not knowing what to do with the knowledge, she kept this to herself for two weeks before confiding in me.

I hope the findings from the new NIE study will be able to help students who are going through these issues.

As parents, we also need to teach our children skills that will help them face life’s challenges. We should also let our children know that they can turn to their parents or a responsible adult, who can help them work through their problems.

Vivien Goh Choon Lian