Forum: Glass children are still overlooked in adulthood

As a glass child myself and a mental health advocate, I was heartened to see this often-overlooked group receive attention in the article “

Overlooked ‘glass child’, the sibling of a special-needs kid

” (July 6).

The article on growing up with a sibling who has special needs resonated with me because everything that was described, I have lived. But I also read it with caution, because while the article was empathetic, like much of public discourse, it focuses on childhood, leaving the adult sibling experience largely unexplored.

I am 51, and I am still navigating the consequences of being “the easy one”. Many glass children experience emotional neglect, which is recognised as an adverse childhood experience with long-term impacts, including increased risk of anxiety and depression.

In adulthood, these siblings often grapple with complex emotions – grief, guilt, self-blame, and worry – while also facing the practical realities of future caregiving. Yet they are rarely considered in healthcare, community, or policy planning.

Even in support spaces, adult siblings tend to deprioritise their own emotional needs. In sibling support groups I have attended, most conversations centre on logistics: medical decisions, financial planning, and caregiving arrangements. The psychological toll, shaped by decades of quiet accommodation, is seldom addressed.

Singapore adopts a family-first approach to caregiving, where siblings often become the default caregivers when parents can no longer provide care. While some organisations do engage siblings in planning, this involvement is often limited to logistical roles, and emotional readiness is rarely explored in depth.

If there is a desire for siblings to remain involved in future caregiving, then their emotional needs, concerns, and capacity should be prioritised – not as an afterthought, but early in the process. Support must be offered before responsibility is presumed.

I am advocating a shift to include adult siblings in care dialogues – not merely as logistical contributors, but as individuals with complex emotional histories. Offer support frameworks that acknowledge our lived experience: mental health services tailored to siblings themselves, caregiver planning sessions that consider our wishes and emotional readiness from the outset, and peer support that is sustained, accessible, and embedded within broader mental health and caregiving systems.

While some community-led initiatives exist, they are often limited in reach or continuity. We need institutional recognition and long-term investment.

If we want true inclusivity in our national care culture, we must see the adult glass children, too.

Yasmeen Hameed-Chan