Forum: Don’t let the rat race suck the joy out of parenting
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The developed world is trying to arrest falling population numbers and Singapore is at the forefront of this existential crisis (Number of babies born in 2023 fell to lowest in at least past 50 years: ICA report, July 14).
Spending millions on monetary benefits and billions on creating a country with excellent infrastructure and a clean and safe society to raise families does not seem to have worked.
Why are our young not interested in building families of their own and experiencing the joy of having children?
The root of the problem may be deeper.
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs has five levels: basic needs, safety needs, love and belongingness, self-esteem, and self-actualisation. Most Singaporeans, through effective governance, have their first two needs fulfilled. In general, Singaporeans don’t worry about food, shelter and safety.
Most Singaporean children are brought up in an environment where the focus is on fulfilling the level-four need of self-esteem, which includes achievement and confidence.
Parents of toddlers are always talking about the schools and courses they want to send their children to. In the last 20 years, many enrichment courses and tuition centres have sprung up.
This endless rat race tires out parents and sucks the joy out of parenting because so much is focused on results.
Many parents feel trapped in this cycle of competition where many try to outdo one another, while others struggle to keep up.
Parents caught in such rat races are not painting an attractive picture that parenting can be a fulfilling task.
Those looking in from the outside will ask if they want to get sucked into such a life, no matter how much money the Government gives. Why would they want to spend weekends sending their probably complaining children to endless classes?
Only when we arrest this issue of competitiveness, by redirecting the efforts and focus to fulfilling the level-three needs of love and belongingness, will parenting be an attractive prospect in Singapore.
Benny Lai Zhao Wei