Forum: Culture of ‘toxic positivity’ unhelpful for the disabled

As someone living with cerebral palsy that prevents me from walking and makes many daily activities challenging, I have lost count of how many times well-meaning people have offered “encouraging” words to me and others with disabilities. While these comments may be well-intentioned, they reveal a fundamental misunderstanding about the nature of disabilities like cerebral palsy, which exist on a broad spectrum of severity with varying limitations on neuroplasticity and potential outcomes.

This is part of a culture of toxic positivity, enforcing positivity even when there are legitimate reasons to be upset. We are often told “everything happens for a reason” or “where there’s a will, there’s a way”. This emphasis on individual attitude deflects attention from necessary systemic changes. When the focus is solely on personal determination, tangible needs like improved accessibility and more inclusive policies are ignored, causing issues for us.

Beyond the societal-level issues, toxic positivity also places an unfair emotional burden on the people affected.

We are expected to always be cheerful, never expressing negative emotions about our circumstances, ironically causing negative emotions and feeling invalidated when we cannot meet those expectations. It is thus harmful at all levels, from societal to individual.

Supporting people with disabilities involves validating all emotions, including frustration or sadness about limitations, advocating real changes and moving beyond shallow inspiration.

With what I have said in mind, I hope that when you are next in a position to encourage someone with a disability, you will carefully consider whether you might inadvertently perpetuate toxic positivity. Encouragement can be helpful, but it should be backed up with empathy and concrete action beyond mere words.

Zachary Tay