Forum: Children heard using disrespectful language in playgrounds

We are a family that spends an equal amount of time in Calgary, Canada, and Singapore. As such, I believe our experience offers a unique perspective into the social norms of both societies.

As a parent of two boys aged 10 and 12, I spend a great deal of time in playgrounds, both indoor and outdoor, as well as other shared public spaces. What I have observed among school-going children locally is an increasingly uninhibited use of vulgar language and racial references. It occurs more often than one might think.

While not every child engages in such speech, it is common enough among many children. What is particularly concerning is the casual manner in which these racial references are made. They are often uttered as jokes or throwaway remarks, and frequently go unchallenged by peers, parents or caregivers.

What troubles me most is that many children appear genuinely unaware of the weight of their words. Few would understand the history of violence and exclusion associated with racial slurs, which leads to these terms being repeated without grasping their harm. This lack of awareness does not make the language less damaging; if anything, it makes it more so.

Playgrounds are formative social environments, and silence can easily become tacit acceptance. When such language goes unchecked, it risks becoming normalised and, for children on the receiving end, quietly reinforces a sense of “otherness”.

I can empathise with working parents who may not always be aware of what is said in unsupervised play spaces, allowing such behaviour to persist unnoticed. Much of this language is likely absorbed online through videos, games and social media, where words are picked up quickly and can sound “cool” to young, uncritical ears.

In Calgary, the kind of racial slurs I have heard would not be tolerated in a playground setting. Adult intervention would be swift, and the behaviour corrected promptly. This contrast leads me to reflect on whether we are doing enough here to support children in learning respectful ways of communication beyond the classroom.

Singapore has long prided itself on being a multicultural society, but are these values being fully absorbed into children’s everyday interactions, or is racial harmony simply a subject or concept taught primarily in formal settings? 

Parveen Kaur Sangah