Forum: Baby-friendly hospitals are not always mother-friendly
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The recent tragic suicide of a new mother was heartbreaking ( Mother found dead with baby at HDB block likely had undiagnosed post-partum depression: Coroner
I, too, feel the immense guilt and pressure surrounding breastfeeding. We are told post-partum struggles are hormonal, but environmental stress plays a huge role too.
After giving birth recently, I was exhausted and in pain, yet pressured to breastfeed immediately, even though my milk hadn’t come in.
My baby needed 30ml, and I was producing only 4ml of colostrum. He had urine crystals and cracked lips, and kept crying for more milk – yet I was told formula was a “last resort”.
I was overwhelmed with guilt for causing dehydration to my baby and, on my very first day of motherhood, I already felt like a failure no matter how hard I tried.
In Singapore, many hospitals follow the Baby-Friendly Hospital Initiative, which promotes immediate skin-to-skin contact and latching, even when mums are physically drained, and strong discouragement of formula, unless deemed “medically necessary”.
Mothers are also given pamphlets warning about the risks of “failing” to breastfeed – reinforcing guilt and fear.
Here’s what I wish I had known:
Delayed milk production is normal. It takes days for milk to fully come in.
Stress affects supply. The priority should be to rest and recover physically and mentally.
Breastfeeding is a skill. Pain at first is normal, and breaks are okay. Pumping and using a bottle are fine too.
Hospitals claim to be baby-friendly, but how friendly are they to mothers? Studies show strict breastfeeding policies can harm maternal mental health.
The relentless pressure to breastfeed, paired with sleep deprivation and post-partum recovery, leaves many mums feeling like failures.
Hospitals need to provide better post-partum mental health awareness and support, and partners need to step up to care for vulnerable new mothers.
Breastfeeding is wonderful if it works, but being fed is best. And a well-supported mother is what is truly best for a baby – not one drowning in fear, exhaustion and guilt.
Jewel Yi
