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As a doctor, I know being ready to die is an illusion
Reconsidering what we think acceptance means – and whether it will come to pass – requires loosening our expectations of those who are dying
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The writer learnt that trying to find immutable evidence of someone’s readiness to die is like trying to wrap your arms around a ghost.
PHOTO: UNSPLASH
Sunita Puri
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Nine years ago, near the end of my residency training, I sat opposite a patient, wondering whether he had accepted that he was dying. He was in his 60s, an artist with sinewy arms and serene eyes, someone I had come to know well over the past three years. Cancer had broken into his liver and bone marrow, robbing him of hunger and energy.
Each time I saw him, the hollows of his cheeks deepened. I wanted to tell him that he was dying, that I wanted to understand how he envisioned spending his remaining life. But he mostly spoke about his plans: a camping vacation in six months, a friend’s wedding after that.
