The little rituals that prepare you for sleep

NEW YORK – Sometimes sleep advice can feel like a lot of what not to do. Don’t drink coffee after 2pm. Avoid your phone for at least 30 minutes before bed. Never sleep in.

But there are rules and then there is reality, and we wanted to understand how people were actually spending the final moments of their days.

Consistent evening routines, including keeping regular bedtimes and engaging in calming activities such as meditation and breathing exercises, have been shown to improve sleep quality. We recently asked readers to tell us about their nightly habits. More than 1,100 people responded.

Some of our favourite submissions revealed tiny indulgences, tender moments with partners (or plants), wholesome hobbies and ways to say goodbye to today and make tomorrow a little easier. Here they are, edited lightly for length and clarity.

I like to polish my granite kitchen countertops with a green apple-smelling cleaner. There’s something therapeutic about seeing the liquid hitting the counter and the smell of fresh green apples hitting my nostrils. It just completes my day. – Art Rosales, 55, Ventura, California

Every night I find a new ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) video to fall asleep to. Am I embarrassed that most nights I’m listening to women I’ve never met talk nonsense or pretend to be doing my make-up? Yes. Does this work to turn off my brain? Also yes. – Melanie Lovell, 47, Lynnfield, Massachusetts

I have trained myself to use Sudoku to quiet my anxious mind and put me to sleep. I’ve done this for so long that I can just think about the numbers one through nine and get sleepy. – Marissa Dickson, 45, Orlando, Florida

After getting ready for bed, I walk around my house and talk to my plants. I see if they need water, have any new growth, need a little fertiliser. I’ll often share my worries or hopes for the next day with them. It helps me find some peace before getting into bed. – Billy Farrell, 34, Anchorage, Alaska

My husband and I listen to audiobooks before falling asleep. Because their magic works better on me (I fall asleep instantly), he recaps the story from last night and asks if I remember. I say yes. We both know that’s not true. – Michala Whitmore, 30, Pueblo, Colorado

Recently, I received two books on origami. Attempting a new origami figure each night in bed before shutting off the light is rewarding and fun, and helps me wind down. – Christina, 62, Toronto

I am a single mum of a teenager, and our ritual is that I make tea. The kettle whistling is a signal for her to get ready for bed. I deliver her mug to her room and we each get in our own beds. I read and sip my tea, she journals or sketches and sips hers. The house somehow feels cosier and quieter. – Anne Seaton, 58, Seattle

I put on my red-light mask and play old episodes of (reality show) Love It Or List It. The stress of the day melts away as I listen to Hilary Farr tell home owners that their budgets are too small. – Ben Kramenr, 38, New York City

I set my laptop’s time zone ahead to the Azores, Portugal, so I can solve the next day’s (NYT games) Connections, Wordle and Strands before I head to bed. – Catherine Burns, 61, Okemos, Michigan

I do the “legs up the wall” yoga pose for 15 minutes. It’s amazing how it relieves tension in my legs and back, and I can feel my whole body relax. – Andrea Kulsurd, 46, Carmel, Indiana

My husband and I work on a 1,500-piece puzzle (we have a special puzzle board that swivels and has drawers for sorting) and watch (reality show) Antiques Roadshow. – Sarah Lerner, 32, Durham, North Carolina

For about 20 minutes in the evening, my family and I walk “the circle”: a path that runs through the living room, dining and kitchen area, then through the foyer back into the living room. It’s a walking meditation of sorts and helps burn through any lingering thoughts that might obstruct a good night’s sleep. – Boz Killerbrew, 53, Oregon, Wisconsin

I set up the coffee pot to be ready to brew. I’ve been doing the ritual before bed after one morning I loaded the pot with flour. – David Blair, 59, Wood County, West Virginia

After kissing my husband and dog goodnight and putting them to bed in a separate room, I put magnesium lotion on my feet, do my Duolingo lesson, pull up my meditation app and, of course, go to the bathroom one last time. – Brandy Strand, 52, Big Lake, Minnesota

I put my phone on the other side of the room at least an hour before bed. Then I handwrite what I call my “nightly 3-2-1”: three things I am grateful for, two things I’m looking forward to tomorrow, and one thing I learnt that day. – Wynne Boliek, 37, Greenville, South Carolina

My partner and I lie down facing each other, hold hands and look into each other’s eyes. We then share something about our day, how we’re feeling or just something we love about each other. It is supremely affirming and relaxing and always gives me that warm feeling I remember from the first time I told her that I loved her. – Andrew Dunakin, 56, Wyndmoor, Pennsylvania NYTIMES