‘Getting your pink back’: Mums embrace message of being themselves again after a baby

UNITED STATES – With five young children, Ms Linnea Chambery had found herself at one of her most challenging points as a mother.

Facing a host of family health issues, including a child with ongoing health complications, she and her husband had started to feel as if there was no end in sight to their constant struggles in parenthood. But one day, she came across a video on social media discussing – of all things – the colour of flamingos.

In the video, a content creator named Lindsey Gurk said flamingos can lose their pink colour when caring for their young, but get it back over time.

Using the flamingos as a metaphor for fellow parents who felt overwhelmed, Gurk reminded them that it was temporary and advised: “If you’re feeling not quite like yourself, maybe you’re feeling a little bit drained, just keep in mind you’re doing it all for your chicks.”

She added: “We are never given more than we can carry, and we will get our pink back.”

At such a dark time, Ms Chambery had found a glimmer of hope. “It hit me in this moment,” said Ms Chambery, now 38 and living in Rochester, New York. “It is going to get better. This is not going to be like this forever.”

What started as a short video years ago has since become a movement, as Gurk has encouraged fellow mums to “get your pink back”.

In recent years, some 5.5 million TikTok videos have been posted about the topic. There have been thousands of posts on Instagram, long Reddit threads and Facebook groups dedicated to parents finding their own approaches to feeling better.

And recently, the movement grew further after a conversation on American media personality Kylie Kelce’s new hit podcast Not Gonna Lie, in which she and her guest, content creator and podcast host Allison Kuch, discussed the concept.

A clip of their conversation has amassed more than 900,000 views on TikTok in a week. In the more than 400 comments, some women described how the “pink back” concept had inspired them to get flamingo tattoos, while others said they wished they had heard about it years ago, when it could have helped them.

The period of time after having a baby can come with emotions including the “baby blues” or post-partum depression, anxiety or psychosis, said Dr Catherine Birndorf, founder and chief executive of the Motherhood Center of New York.

Although these topics are now more widely discussed than in past decades, she said, there are still societal expectations for mothers to act perfectly even as their lives, hormones and bodies are changing.

“You can lose yourself to motherhood,” Dr Birndorf said. “You have to attend to this dependent human being, so you lose time, sleep, connection with the outside world, and temporarily you may feel very disconnected from who you were and your whole sense of self.”

As a result, it is vital for new mothers to take care of themselves apart from their identity as parents, she added.

Gurk, who could not be reached for this article, said in an interview with a CBS affiliate in 2023 that she felt “completely lost” as a new parent, and then she learnt the fact about flamingos. Soon after sharing it on social media, the message took off, with mums reaching out to relay their experiences post-partum.

The movement also became a brand for Gurk, who created her own line of “get your pink back” merchandise, with many items prominently featuring the signature pink bird that originally inspired her.

One of Gurk’s sweatshirts made its way to Kuch – a gift from her husband, American football player Isaac Rochell – when the couple’s daughter was three months old.

Kuch, 29, has since embraced the movement and used her social media accounts to highlight the concept and share the ways she is rediscovering herself.

“As a mum, you’re constantly pouring out of your own cup. I think it’s important to also find things to fill it back up,” Kuch said in an interview. The movement inspired her to start working out again, plan trips or take time for herself by simply grabbing a cup of coffee.

Ms Tamie Konzier, a 40-year-old mother from Pittsburgh, felt lost after experiencing post-partum depression when her son was born and then struggling to get pregnant again before having her daughter. But after years of exhaustion, Ms Konzier said she eventually found a rhythm and a routine with her husband and her children, now 10 and five.

“I know what I need from my partner, I know how to parent my kids, I like what I’m doing in my career – it all just clicked,” said Ms Konzier. “I’m me again.”

For some, like Ms Crystal Obasanya, “getting your pink back” meant seeking professional help. The licensed clinical social worker from Dallas experienced post-partum anxiety after the birth of her son and sought out weekly therapy as part of her treatment.

The 30-year-old, who has shared her post-partum journey online as a content creator, finds the message of “it gets better” to be reassuring. “This is not an indictment on the rest of your life,” she said of the post-partum period. “You will feel joy again. You will have stability... It’s almost like you’re on a train – you’re just passing by.” NYTIMES