Local actor Chew Chor Meng opens up about his illness

Home-grown actor Chew Chor Meng talked extensively about his struggle with Kennedy's Disease - an incurable motor neuron disease which causes the progressive weakening of one's muscles - in a recent episode of the Quan Yifeng-hosted talk show Hear U Out.

The 51-year-old star, who was diagnosed with the condition in 2008, found out about his health troubles while filming the local drama Love Blossoms 2 that same year, when he began experiencing serious difficulties in movement on set.

His character in the series had a brain atrophy disorder and he was told to watch the 2005 Japanese drama One Litre Of Tears - about a girl with a degenerative disease - to prepare for his role.

"It's almost as if in a mysterious way, there was a plan for me to prepare myself mentally (for the diagnosis). Because reading the script and watching the series, my character had a brain atrophy and suffered a similar fate as the female lead in the drama I was watching.

"I thought, 'Is it possible that I - Chew Chor Meng - had something similar?' Because the symptoms lined up."

His fears were confirmed in August that year when he was formally diagnosed with Kennedy's Disease and told he had only two years to live.

Adding to the pain was the loss of Chew's best friend Jimmy Nah, also known as MC King, who died of a sudden heart and lung failure in January 2008.

Chew says he did not have a strong reaction to his diagnosis at first and that it sank in only when he saw his children. The actor is married with two daughters aged 18 and 16.

"They were so young then and I wanted to see them grow up, get married and maybe even carry my own grandchildren."

He adds that he has not been able to carry his children in his arms or play with them actively since they were toddlers due to the chronic pain.

"Aside from when she was an infant, I rarely carried my younger daughter."

He credits faith, encouragement from friends and support from family for pulling him through the darkest period after his diagnosis, when he battled thoughts of ending his life.

He is also thankful that, "possibly due to some changes in my DNA", he might be able to live a long life despite the illness.

Tearing up when Quan asked about him continuing to act despite his disease, he says: "If I back down, get defeated or frustrated, I'll collapse even faster."