In new memoir, Britney Spears’ ex-husband Kevin Federline sounds alarm to ‘save’ her; she fires back

LOS ANGELES – In a new memoir, Kevin Federline, the American dancer, DJ and former husband of Britney Spears, provides his perspective on their strained relationship. And he says he is concerned that the decision four years ago to release the American pop star from her conservatorship may have been ill-advised.

In You Thought You Knew, due on Oct 21, Federline, 47, charts his path from teenage knucklehead growing up in Fresno, California, to husband and father of two children with the 43-year-old singer.

He and Spears finalised their divorce in 2007 after three years of marriage and then began a prolonged, messy custody battle that ended in 2008. In his book, Federline recounts his version of that dispute and talks of Spears’ use of drugs and alcohol and angry outbursts during the late stages of their marriage.

In the 18 years since their split, he has observed his ex-wife largely from a distance as they co-parented.

“We haven’t spoken in years,” Federline told The New York Times in an interview. But he writes about becoming increasingly concerned with what he describes as Spears’ erratic behaviour, which he learnt about mostly second-hand from their sons, now 20 and 19.

In one chapter, he recounts the time when the boys, as teens, declared that they did not want to go back to their mother’s house for several reasons, including fear.

“They would awaken sometimes at night to find her standing silently in the doorway, watching them sleep – ‘Oh, you’re awake?’ – with a knife in her hand,” he writes. “Then she’d turn around and pad off without explanation.”

In the penultimate chapter of the book, Federline fully expresses his concern. “The truth is, this situation with Britney feels like it’s racing toward something irreversible,” he writes.

“It’s become impossible to pretend everything’s OK,” he adds. “From where I sit, the clock is ticking, and we’re getting close to the 11th hour. Something bad is going to happen if things don’t change, and my biggest fear is that our sons will be left holding the pieces.”

Spears hit back on Oct 15 with a lengthy post on X, saying she has “had enough” of Federline “constantly gaslighting” her, and that it was “extremely hurtful and exhausting”.

“I have always pleaded and screamed to have a life with my boys,” she wrote. “Relationships with teenage boys is complex. I have felt demoralised by this situation and have always asked and almost begged for them to be a part of my life.

“Sadly, they have always witnessed the lack of respect shown by (their) own father for me. They need to take responsibility for themselves. With one son only seeing me for 45 minutes in the past five years and the other with only four visits in the past five years. I have pride too. From now on, I will let them know when I am available.”

The singer also took direct aim at Federline’s memoir, saying: “Trust me, those white lies in that book, they are going straight to the bank and I am the only one who genuinely gets hurt here.”

She added: “If you really know me, you won’t pay attention to the tabloids of my mental health and drinking. I am actually a pretty intelligent woman who has been trying to live a sacred and private life the past five years. I speak on this because I have had enough and any real woman would do the same.”

Spears’ representative had earlier said in an Oct 14 press statement: “With news from Kevin’s book breaking, once again he and others are profiting off her, and sadly it comes after child support has ended with Kevin.”

The representative added: “All she cares about are her kids and their well-being during this sensationalism. She detailed her journey in her memoir.”

In Spears’

2023 memoir, The Woman In Me

, which is being turned into a film, she disputes that she ever had significant substance abuse issues and characterises her custody battle with Federline as traumatising.

She wrote that he had not let her see her sons for weeks on end and “tried to convince everyone that I was completely out of control” as part of his bid for full custody years ago.

Federline, who has also dabbled in reality TV, said he had not discussed the contents of You Thought You Knew with his ex.

“I’ve never ever once been against Britney,” Federline said in the NYT interview. “I’ve only tried to help my sons have an incredible relationship with their mother. And it’s hard because when I really reflect on everything that’s happened – my kids do not know the woman that I married. And I’ve spent two decades trying to bridge that gap.”

Spears has expressed interest in repairing her relationship with her sons and several times within the last year, she has published posts on social media marking their time together.

She rose to the pinnacle of pop stardom, then was placed in a conservatorship that oversaw her finances and personal affairs in 2008 after her mental health struggles spilled into public view.

In the book, Federline discusses the evening when Spears was whisked away to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and placed under a 72-hour involuntary psychiatric hold after a three-hour stand-off involving their children.

“It was one of the hardest nights of my life,” Federline writes. “I felt sick over what she was going through. This was someone I had loved. Someone I had built a life with. The mother of my children.”

A Los Angeles judge terminated that conservatorship in 2021 after finding that it was “no longer required”.

Federline says in his book that the Free Britney movement – the push by fans and supporters to have the conservatorship terminated – may have “started from a good place”, but it vilified people around Spears so intensely that now professionals with the ability to help her may be too afraid to step in.

“All those people who put so much effort into that,” he writes, “should now put the same energy into the Save Britney movement. Because this is no longer about freedom. It’s about survival.”

In recent months, Spears has again drawn the attention of the tabloids – and reportedly raised the concern of some in her circle – with posts on social media that include a video of her dancing in a mansion that appeared to have dog excrement on the floor and with a bandaged knee, writing on Instagram that “it snaps out now and then, not sure if it’s broken”.

Although Federline, in his book, concedes he does not know the perfect “solution” moving forward, he asks that anyone “who has ever been moved by Britney” stand by his children and their mother.

“Now, more than ever, they need your support,” he writes. “I’ve been their buffer for years, but now it’s bigger than me. It’s time to sound the alarm.” NYTIMES