At The Movies: Fountain Of Youth a formulaic misfire despite A-list cast and director

Fountain Of Youth (PG13)

125 minutes, now showing on Apple TV+
★★☆☆☆

The story: Renowned thief and outlaw Luke Purdue (John Krasinski), aided by billionaire Owen Carver (Domhnall Gleeson), searches for an ancient treasure said to grant immortality. The pair hope to recruit Luke’s museum-curator sister Charlotte (Natalie Portman), but she refuses. Meanwhile, the mysterious mercenary Esme (Eiza Gonzalez) will stop at nothing to foil Luke’s plans.

A flatness of emotion permeates this project, a remarkable feat considering the star-studded cast that includes Oscar winner Portman and the Emmy-nominated Krasinski.

The actors try their hardest, but their combined powers cannot save this movie from the tiresome dialogue that passes for brother-sister banter, weak supporting characters, villains who are as threatening as toddlers and a hidden-treasure plot that feels like it might have been taken from novelist Dan Brown’s (The Da Vinci Code, 2003) reject pile. 

It starts with the staple ingredient of main characters who cannot get along, allowing squabbling siblings Luke and Charlotte to indulge in vocal dramatics that, in the end, mean nothing because they always come together to solve mysteries or carry out heists.

It is in their blood, as Luke reminds Charlotte frequently – they carry their father’s urge to find adventure, whatever that means. 

British director Guy Ritchie is in his element with action-comedies centred on anti-heroes (The Gentlemen, 2019; The Ministry Of Ungentlemanly Warfare, 2024), but he will sometimes veer into family-friendly fare, like Fountain Of Youth.

Here, he tries to mould Krasinski into a typical Ritchie male lead – an insouciant rule-breaker, with a wit as sharp as his fighting knives. Women love him; men want to be like him. Or at least a PG13 version of the guy usually played by British actors like Jason Statham or Henry Cavill. 

The problem is that Krasinski is as blandly American as it is possible to be.

He is a solid actor, but it is a stretch for him to play a charismatic thief with an anarchic sense of right and wrong. Luke is the sort with the chutzpah to flirt with enforcer Esme even as she is trying to kick his brains in. He calls his robberies “adventures”, like his dad used to do. But – the script would like audiences to note – he travels to foreign lands to rob their tombs respectfully and ethically.  

Portman, as the sensible mum playing opposite Krasinski’s bachelor action hero, is unfairly reduced to being the standard angry female spoilsport. She, Krasinski and everyone else involved deserve better than this weak mash-up of Angels & Demons (2009) and The Mummy (1999).

Hot take: What might have been a frothy caper comedy about a hunt for the elixir of immortality becomes bogged down in a tiresome drama about family ties.