Historic Thai law recognises same-sex marriages - but not all families are equal

BANGKOK – American businessman Jacob Holder met his Thai husband, Mr Surapong Koonpaew, in 2021, got married in the United States two years later and then returned to Thailand, where they live and work.

This week, their union will be recognised under Thai law after the country's marriage equality Bill passed by Parliament in 2024 comes into force on Jan 22, capping decades of efforts by activists.

Thailand will become the first country in South-east Asia and the third place in Asia to recognise marriages of same-sex couples.

But for couples like Mr Holder and Mr Surapong, the new law, although historic and progressive, still leaves them with hurdles to building a legally recognised family.

Soon after their wedding, the couple had a son, Elijah Bprin Holder Koonpaew, born through legal surrogacy in Colombia since that option is not available to same-sex couples in Thailand.

Elijah Bprin has the names of both of his parents on a US birth certificate, Mr Holder said, but the 18-month-old must live in Thailand on a tourist visa.

Elijah has no legal relationship with Mr Surapong in Thailand due to the absence of a same-sex couple surrogacy law and the strict definition of a parent.

Thailand’s traditional definition of a family – a father being a man and a mother a woman – remains in Thai legal codes, in spite of the passage of the marriage equality law.

“Legally, they have no connection,” Mr Holder said of his son and Mr Surapong, a civil servant who also goes by the nickname Keng.

“If tomorrow, God forbid, something did happen to me, we have real concerns (about) what then happens between Keng and our son under the eyes of the Thai law.”

The Thai health ministry is working on a draft Bill to allow same-sex couple surrogacy, but it is unclear how long the process will take and whether it would be successful.

Thailand’s new marriage equality Bill will now allow same-sex couples to adopt a child.

But due to the legal definition of a parent, same-sex couple “qualification” as adoptive parents would, in practice, depend on official consideration, which experts say could lead to discrimination.

“We have come far”

While some lawmakers tried to change the definition of a parent to a more gender-neutral term when they were debating the marriage equality Bill in 2024, their efforts were voted down by a majority of lawmakers.

“This is the mindset that’s very much imbued in the eyes of the lawmakers (and) within the text of the law itself as well,” said Ms Mookdapa Yangyuenpradorn, a specialist at human rights group Fortify Rights.

“That poses as really a hindrance in us trying to push for including a gender-inclusive term like parents into the law.”

The new same-sex marriage law will create more momentum for greater inclusion of LGBTQ people in Thailand, which already has a reputation for its tolerance of the community, according to analysts.

“We have come far in changing the law and there is some way to go for more inclusion,” said Ms Nada Chaiyajit, lecturer at Mae Fah Luang University’s law school.

"We also still have to fight for social acceptance and that requires more than just changes to the law."

Mr Holder and Mr Surapong are planning on having another child soon and hope that Thailand will be a good place to raise a family.

"We want these people (lawmakers) to see that we can have a normal functioning family, just like everybody else," said Mr Surapong. REUTERS