Watch first, then wipe: China’s restrooms put toilet paper behind paywall

Some public toilets in China are now requiring users to do something slightly off – and off-putting – before they can get sheets of toilet paper: watch a 30-second advertisement.

Yes, toilet paper – once the most democratic of commodities, free and abundant in public toilets – is now behind a paywall of jingles and jingling coins.

According to online news site China Insider News, the system works like this: You scan a QR code, dutifully consume a short commercial (detergent, luxury sedan, investment app – choose your mood), and then, only then, are you rewarded with a pre-rationed roll of tissue.

For those unwilling to endure this little theatre, there is an escape hatch: 0.5 yuan (nine Singapore cents), roughly the price of a single samosa, buys you immediate relief.

This nod to capitalist overreach has, of course, drawn outrage online.

“Dystopian,” said one commenter on Instagram, imagining a future in which the last shred of human dignity is sponsored by detergent companies.

Others worried about emergencies: What if your phone dies? What if your WeChat would not load? What if, God forbid, you have just had lunch?

One commenter put it most succinctly: “If you don’t have your phone or your credit card, you are – quite literally – s*** out of luck.”

“Toilet paper in China now requires watching ads. Capitalism has entered the bathroom stall, dignity is no longer free, it’s sponsored,” another comment read on social media platform X.

Officials insist this is not about humiliation, but conservation.

They say too many users have been absconding with heroic quantities of toilet paper, leading to a shortage.

The solution, naturally, is surveillance plus advertising, two things known for their subtlety.

The dystopia is not new.

In 2017, Beijing’s Temple of Heaven park installed facial recognition machines to ensure that one nose and one mouth equalled one ration of tissue, with a nine-minute timeout for repeat offenders.