Road House (M18)

123 minutes, available on Prime Video
2 stars

The story: Elwood Dalton (Jake Gyllenhaal) is a former professional mixed-martial arts fighter reduced to fighting in underground matches. Bar owner Frankie (Jessica Williams) invites the troubled man to her small town in Florida, which is plagued by violence caused by playboy millionaire Ben Brandt (Billy Magnussen) and other baddies, such as the enforcer Knox (Irish mixed-martial arts fighter Conor McGregor).

When Internet commenters compliment a film by saying, “This is such a 1980s movie”, they are speaking about a time when the hero could make love to his stunning blonde flight instructor (Top Gun, 1986), or the stunning blonde doctor treating his stab wound (Road House, 1989), without anyone giving a thought to professional boundaries or workplace ethics.

It was, as they say, a simpler time. 

This remake of the 1980s original, which starred the late Patrick Swayze as the invincible bouncer with Kelly Lynch playing the lover-doctor, cherry-picks a few 1980s tropes, such as the convenient romantic pairing. 

This is because it is important that Dalton – Swayze’s character, as well as the new Dalton played by Gyllenhaal – be smart, but relatable.

A smart man falls for someone who is his intellectual equal. She would be the doctor, played in the new film by Portuguese actress Daniela Melchior. The couple are relatable because on dates, they drink beer straight from the bottle, not make flirty talk about Russian literature. 

On the other hand, the remake drops the idea of Dalton’s Zen-like brand of stoicism. Some 1980s tropes, it seems, are best left in the 1980s. 

Jettisoned along with Dalton’s mysticism are his Oriental fortune-cookie statements. “Pain don’t hurt” is one example, which, depending on one’s perspective, is either groan-worthy or profound.

Instead, the story leans on the more modern concept of Dalton as a former professional fighter haunted by psychological trauma. His speech is plain, not cryptic.

Doug Liman is a capable film-maker with a gift for character-driven action.

The results can be brilliant, such as the espionage thriller The Bourne Identity (2002) and science-fiction adaptation Edge Of Tomorrow (2014). They can also be muddled, such as in the dystopian story Chaos Walking (2021). 

Liman is only as good as the screenplay, which, in this case, feels like an attempt at remaking the original with 50 per cent less campiness. It undermines that male fantasy at the heart of the story – that a stranger can win friends and influence people when they see that he is, despite all appearances, awesome on the inside. 

Liman’s action sequences are stunning, though. There is a man-versus-truck scene that is shot with jaw-dropping panache, while the fight sequences are top-notch. 

Magnussen’s bratty villain is memorably despicable.

Professional fighter McGregor, making his first non-documentary feature film appearance, is an inspired addition. The controversial martial artist is perfectly cast as the unhinged human tank Knox, bringing a touch of the fantastical that this film sorely needs. 

Hot take: In renovating Road House, the builders lost the plot.