The compelling case for being an 'intentionally lazy' parent

Why parents need to step back to allow children to plan ahead and solve problems independently

The average student isn't directly taught how to keep track of her assignments, plan a night's worth of work and then complete the task. They're expected to know how to do this or to figure it out. Parents need a framework to reinforce these skills a
The average student isn't directly taught how to keep track of her assignments, plan a night's worth of work and then complete the task. They're expected to know how to do this or to figure it out. Parents need a framework to reinforce these skills at home. PHOTO: ISTOCKPHOTO
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Last year, I worked with Charlie, a typical kid. He was a bright student, taking a few honours classes and scoring around the 90th percentile on standardised tests. He ran cross-country in the autumn and played lacrosse in the spring. He had a group of close buddies that he hung out with on most weekends.

But every Wednesday when we met, he shared different variations of the same problem: a test that he had bombed because he forgot to study, a missing piece of equipment for lacrosse that caused him to sit out the practice, a paper that he procrastinated writing until really late on Sunday so he had to pull an all-nighter, or a completed homework assignment that he forgot to take to school.

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A version of this article appeared in the print edition of The Straits Times on April 16, 2018, with the headline The compelling case for being an 'intentionally lazy' parent. Subscribe