The Usual Place Podcast

Dating with KPIs? How to rework your dating mindset for 2025

Must good love be hard love? Here are some ways to date well in 2025 | The Usual Place podcast

Natasha Ann Zachariah

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Synopsis: The Usual Place host Natasha Ann Zachariah hunts for new perspectives on issues that matter to young people.

Is modern dating painful and how can those who want to find love in 2025 find it intentionally?

In this episode of The Usual Place, host Natasha Ann Zachariah dissected the dating game with Andrea Tan, a certified sex, love and relationship coach and founder of Athena Rising Coaching & Consulting and Chia Wei Goh, founder of CGull, a dating consultancy for men.

According to results from a Bumble survey that was released mid-Nov 2024, people here are still keen to date – four in five Singaporean singles interviewed are looking to find a long-term partner in 2025. (Bumble is a women-first dating and social networking app that was founded in 2014.)

But what are some of the issues that get in the way of finding love?

From treating dates as job interviews to having many deal-breakers, both Andrea and Chia Wei dove into the insights they gleaned from working with their clients.

For example, Chia Wei said that sometimes, Singaporeans, who may have been ingrained since young to focus on KPIs (key performance indicators) at school and work, may also want to apply similar benchmarks when looking for love.

Dating coaches Andrea Tan (left) and Chia Wei Goh (right) share with The Usual Place podcast host Natasha what those who are dating have to do, to get serious about love in 2025.
ST PHOTO: NG SOR LUAN

Natasha wanted to find out if dating stereotypes of ideal partners that surface on social media – “man in finance, trust fund, 6’5”, blue eyes” or “trad wife”, for example – hurt or help one’s chances at making a great impression.

Meanwhile, Chia Wei suggested that both genders take on a niche hobby such as yoga for men or muay thai for women, to open more opportunities for conversation when meeting a partner of the opposite sex.

Andrea, who is also Bumble’s relationship expert, said that to press ahead in the dating game, one needs a cheerleader support group to provide positive affirmations.

Highlights (click/tap above):

1:20 Is Natasha being a Negative Nancy about dating these days?

4:20 Deal-breakers and maybe-breakers – be clear

6:52 Should you lower your standards in dating?

9:06 A date = job interview

11:39 Looking for KPIs in dating

12:35 Have a lil’ faith and tenacity, says Andrea

15:09 Men are in a more vulnerable position than women

18:06 Do dating stereotypes hurt or help?

23:40 Don’t just be yourself, says Chia Wei

25:38 Authenticity is overplayed

27:46 Reframe your niche

28:46 Have your cheerleaders around you, says Andrea

29:35 Is it game over in the dating game for those over 40?

32:34 Where to start if you’re a first-time dater

34:53 Are men bad at conversations?